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the perfect christian

I am wanting my family to get into church, but for me it's either all or nothing.. once i start going to church i start feeling guilty of everything i do(and i don't really do anything bad) and i get frustrated and quit going.. i even start telling my husband he needs to stop this and that... just little things like listening to rock music, watching shows on tv with inappropriate conduct, doing our sexual business in the bedroom... the list goes on and on, i feel so overwhelmed with trying to fix all my flaws.. how do i get passed this and just enjoy the fellowship.. even when i think things in my head and not really act on them like if i see someone out and i think wow shes ugly, i will beat myself up about it... and i know everyone does things like that, but i feel i have to be a perfect christian or not a christian at all.. what do i do?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:50 AM on Aug. 8, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

This question is closed.
Answers (22)
  • Dont try to be perfect thats not what God wants, what He wants more than anything is a relationship with you. That is the one thing you can work on. He is not going to nit pick on everything but He is going to love you and lead you and guide you and mold you and make you in His time. Don't try to change everything overnight. It is a process. Also the enemy is probably the one making you guilty telling you that you have to be perfect to be accepted by God ... that is a lie from the pit of hell and you need to denounce that lie. The truth is God accepts you just the way you are but loves you so much He won't leave you in that state. Its a process, one step at a time, just take His hand and let Him lead :-)

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 3:42 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • There isn't such a thing as a perfect christian, maybe it would help to remember that. God loves you flaws and all. There is nothing wrong with striving to be better but there can be too much of a good thing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:57 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • remember this verse Romans 3:23
    23For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God
    If you feel like something is wrong ask for forgiveness and dont do it.. But for you hubby he will have to do it for his self.. Let God deal with him on what he is going you just make sure that you do what God wants you to do... For me i don watch Tv unless its the news or chrisitan channel and Pregnancy shows .. I do not want to leave room for the devil if we watch something that we should not watch you will feel it in your spirit that is wrong and dont watch it.. But the good thing is Jesus died for us so that our sins can be forgiven thank God just make sure you ask for forgiveness everyday.. If you every need anyone to talk to im here for you.. :) Love ya sister in Christ

    Answer by hinson7169 at 3:00 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • we all have sin, and have to ask forgiveness, but finding a church is sometimes hard because all views are different , i was raised inglesia ne christo (chuch of christ) but am non denomination now.

    Answer by Ashlee0323 at 3:02 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • I took baby steps. I started by making sure God was a part of the house with children's prayer books, a cross in the kitchen, and prayers at meal and bed times. My greatest concern was that my children wouldn't know and understand the love and peace that God can only give because I had a hangup with the church and a beef with the pastor. I think I'm on the right path because I joined a Bible study for myself and my son just asked about catacism and we signed him up. We go on holidays to make sure we dont lose touch.

    Answer by h3art2h0m3 at 3:04 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • When I say..."I am a Christian"
    I'm not shouting "I am saved"
    I'm whispering "I get lost!"
    "That is why I chose this way."

    When I say..."I am a Christian"
    don't speak of this with pride.
    I'm confessing that I stumble
    and need someone to be my guide.

    When I say..."I am a Christian"
    I'm not trying to be strong.
    I'm professing that I'm weak
    and pray for strength to carry on.

    When I say..."I am a Christian"
    I'm not bragging of success.
    I'm admitting I have failed
    and cannot ever pay the debt.

    When I say..."I am a Christian"
    I'm not claiming to be perfect,
    my flaws are too visible
    but God believes I'm worth it.

    When I say..."I am a Christian"
    I still feel the sting of pain
    I have my share of heartaches
    which is why I seek His name.

    When I say..."I am a Christian"
    I do not wish to judge.
    I have no

    Answer by bloodbought at 3:14 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • The bible says aim for perfection ( See 2 Corinthians 13:11). It sounds like you are wanting to change like you are supposed to. That's wonderful that you understand you shouldn't be thinking about how ugly someone is, etc. But don't forget the love that is Jesus. And God is patient.
    You know, what is kinda strange is I've heard of people arguing more and being more stressed after going to church. Maybe when you feel especially stressed you should do what it says in Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God”
    Again, don't forget the love that is Jesus. I hope you feel better!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:10 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • You need to keep in mind that there IS NO "perfect Christian" - because, frankly, if there was, there wouldn't be any point to the whole Christ died for us thing ;-)

    It's BECAUSE we're sinners that Christ died for us, and that we have the Christian faith. I'm not saying that you should use it as a get out of jail free card to do whatever you want, no matter what, but that you shouldn't expect to be perfect.

    Also, something to think about - evil works in a lot of ways - have you considered that these feelings are being placed in your thoughts to achieve EXACTLY what's happening - it makes you paranoid about trying to be perfect, and makes you get frustrated, frustrate your dh, and get discouraged, and stop going to church?


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 5:15 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • cont

    Maybe when you start to beat yourself up like this, you should pray, "God, I'm struggling here. I don't know if this is Your will or a manipulation. If this is Your will, help me to know it. If not, then God, help me to cast out these evil, self defeating thoughts. In the name of Jesus, I pray for discernment and wisdom in my thoughts and actions."

    Also, keep in mind, unless you're talking about hurting each other, having multiple partners, involving animals, that sort of thing, then sex is a natural and beautiful and a blessed thing between a married couple. In fact, there's a whole book in the bible - Song of Solomon - that is basically about the love, romance, and yes, sex between a husband and wife. God created us, He created our bodies, and He gave us the gift of pleasure in the marriage bed. You don't need to be ashamed of sex with your dh just because you're a Christian.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 5:18 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • There's no such thing as a perfect Christian, or a perfect anything. Quit being so hard on yourself.

    Answer by DrJChappell at 9:12 AM on Aug. 8, 2009