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I didnt know where this q when so. . . . .

Okay so, my SO and I have a BEAUTIFUL 8 month old daughter and he "has" a "1 yr old daughter" with someone else. The reason for the quotation marks is that I do NOT believe that child is his plus the mom has NEVER let him meet her. She sends text mssgs for like a week once a month (from random fone numbers - he doesnt have a number for her directly) and then disappears again for weeks on end. We have been arguing lately but I did notice that he's kept the other lil girls pic on his cell as a screen saver for like two weeks. He's been in our daughters life since the day she was born (he doesnt know the other girls b-day cuz the mom didnt let him come to the hospital or n e thing and called him once she got out) so why would he choose to walk around staring at some lil girl he never met vs our beautiful daughter that he's fed and whose first word was dada, I mean does n e one else see it as a kind of slap in the face or am I be

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:04 AM on Aug. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I dont know. If It were me and I thought I had a daughter out there and had one at home I would still want to see her my other child. Especially since he can see his daughter growing before his eyes and doing all the neat stuff, I bet he feels like he is missing out on his other child (reguardless if you feel its not his child, he might). He gets to see your daughter all the time and experience everything with her, he doesnt with the other little girl. I can understand he would want to keep her picture to look at occassionally. Its not like he is ignoring your child for this other one is it? I can see where it would hurt you but I certainly can understand where he is coming from. If I was in the situation I think I would try and understand where he is coming from and why he is doing it (Does he miss her and want to see the little girl?). He obviously believes it is his child.
    cinemagirl823

    Answer by cinemagirl823 at 10:12 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • I don't know why the mother would tell him and keep telling him of the child, yet hide from him. What kind of game is she playing. This doesn't make any sense. if she doesn't want him in her life, then why keep sending information about her child. If she does want him in her life, then why hide.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 10:29 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • so you guys where pregnant around the same time? did he cheat?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:40 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • I agree with cinemagirl1823, about trying to be a little more understanding with him.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 10:46 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • Hon, I gotta be honest here and say that I think you're being too harsh. He believes this other little girl is his. He loves her. You don't have to meet someone to love them. Especially if it's a child. Outrageous scenerio: But what if you're daughter had been taken from you at birth. You never got to hold her or anything. Would you still love her? If all you had was a picture, wouldn't you look at it constantly?

    The daughter you 2 have together is there with him. He gets to hold her , kiss her, hear her say daddy. All he has is a picture of his other daughter.

    He's not trying to slap anyone in the face. Be happy you have a man that cares so much about one of his children that he loves them and wonders about them even though he's never got to hold them. There are men that don't care about any of thier kids. You're lucky to have such a good guy!

    Good luck with everything.
    Nika75

    Answer by Nika75 at 11:24 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • Omg hun do i know how you feel or what!

    My partner of 7yrs has 2 other daughters (or so he believes) we have 2 children together a son and daughter. Now the one I DO BELIEVE is defo his daughter he used to have of a wk end when she was a baby n (the 2nd child) and the other one (his 1st) he has never seen. His first child was concieved when he was very young and the reason for them splitting was she was cheating on him so is it his kid ? God knows. He won't have it questioned but i'm not convinced. Our kids and his other daughter who we have sort of had contact with recently look so much like him it's untrue my daughter and her are near enough twins. His other one however (seen a pic on facebook) looks nowt like him. I do find it kind of a slap in the face how he big's them up n he don't even know them but coz i'm not their parent its hard to imagine how he feels don't u think?
    KerryLou

    Answer by KerryLou at 11:38 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • He's missing the kid he believes is his.
    Get your head out of your arse and have some sympathy for him!
    What's a slap in the face is YOU not caring about HIM never getting to see his other kid, are you really THAT selfish?
    LilChynaDollie

    Answer by LilChynaDollie at 11:44 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • Nope, I'm with you. What he's doing is a blatant slap in the face to you and your dd. She's just playing him by making him think it's his. If the child were really his she'd be hitting him up for child support and he could ask for a DNA test and find out for sure. She wants your man back and if she can't get him back she's going to try to ruin things between the two of you by using her child. I'd be telling him to figure it out. I had a woman pull that bs on me and my x. She called me and I told her that's fine, that if he is the father we'd adopt the child and she'd never see her again. (yes I said it in anger and I know I couldn't keep her from seeing her). She never opened her mouth again about it. Then she was found murdered after a robbery went bad where she worked so the issue never came up again with the child. The baby did get adopted but not by us.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:00 PM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • Maybe he feels it's the only way to be close to this child. He gets to see your daughter everyday. He doesn't get to be a part of the other one's life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on Aug. 8, 2009

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