Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why is it so hard to find a decent guy?

I've just been alone for so long and would like to find a guy who isnt a complete jerk

Answer Question
 
changingrain

Asked by changingrain at 5:52 PM on Aug. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • maybe if we all get together we can make one! We'll take a piece of one decent guy and a piece of another decent guy...lol, ok that's dumb but I hear ya. It would be nice to find one.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:55 PM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • I know that it certainly seems that way for many women. Add in the responsibility of dating and a child and the odds seem slimmer. They are not. First, you have to be comfortable with being single. It is okay. Before you start dating again or continue to hunt through all the frogs to find your pince, date yourself. Take yourself to cool places, do cool things, things you like. Be the interesting person you want to meet. Pamper yourself. Then start putting yourself out there. I like e-harmoney. I really think it is a great site to meet people who are serious about wanting to find the right relationship. Or in those activities that you are doing (Karate, coaching your son's baseball game, yoga, or hanging out at the park) you meet someone to date. Have fun. Enjoy being single. Enjoy having first dates and a lot of them. Hey, free dinners. Even enlist friends to help set you up. But do date you first.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 7:09 PM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • Focus on your kids. Go to PTA meetings and look for single dads.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:39 PM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • It's because they're all married honey! Or not out of college yet!
    luvbnmomnwife

    Answer by luvbnmomnwife at 7:41 PM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • This sounds pretty awful and it can be a reflection on ourselves too. But I realized at the time I was single that by the time you get out of college or highschool - the number of decent guys who are ABLE to be in a healthy and loving relationship get scooped up by other women who are able to do the same. The percentage of decent guys is the minority of the other single guys who are pretty messed up and don't know how to be with a woman in a healthy way. This means that as a single woman, you have to really check out a guy and give it time to see if he is a good guy. Many of the jerky types will do and say ANYTHING to get you. You are a challenge and they will work very hard to get you - they may even think they are in love. Once they get what they want, they suddenly change or get lazy or just don't care. If you date them for 2 or 3 months before intimacy, you can usually weed out these guys. Go Slow!
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 8:00 PM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • Well, where are you going to meet guys?

    How often do you initiate and approach a guy, or ask him out?
    Mousuke

    Answer by Mousuke at 1:13 AM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • hmm - i want a decent guy too. i've stopped looking and decided he will find me! lol
    NOLAmommaKRYS

    Answer by NOLAmommaKRYS at 11:10 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.