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I don't think I love him enough...LONG

10 years ago I met this man that I fell madly in love with. Things in our life did not allow us to be together but we remained friends. I treated his daughter like my own. We did alot together. My current boyfriend of 3 years knows about my history with him and asked me to not be friends with him. I stupidly agree'd but we would still talk once every few months for about 15 mins just to catch up and say hi. I'm so mad that I allowed my current boyfriend to tell me who I can and can't be friends with because I missed out on so much with him and her. I know my boyfriend would not allow us to talk or see eachother again but I'm tired of missing them! They were my best friends! I've actually started seeing them anyway and hanging out. Nothing sexual has or will happen as long as I am with my BF. However, I also don't feel like I love my BF the way I want to. I feel like I'm stuck w/ one child, one on the way and a mortgage w/ him.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:25 PM on Aug. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • So.. I guess what I'm saying is I don't know what to do... I don't want me wanting to be friends w/ someone to be the reason we break up becasue it sounds so juvenile..but at the same time not allowing me to be friends with someone is juvenile and ridiculous.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:27 PM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • same problem here... beware i got called a whore bc i asked this same question the other day. i have no advice for u bc i cant figure out my situation. i knew my friend since i was 7 and he lives across the country we never dated or anything just friends and i am not allowed to talk to him
    ggiovanni

    Answer by ggiovanni at 7:34 PM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • For you to be considering leaving him, there must be something more than his being uncomfortable about you getting together with a former serious boyfriend. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want my husband getting together with a former serious girlfriend. If you feel that you wish to move on, then you can do so, and it would be the fair action for the present boyfriend, rather than letting him spend any more of his life on a relationship that isn't working out. I hope this doesn't seem that I am being disrespectful to you, that is far from my intention. It just sounds as though it is over between you and your current boyfriend. If you still have feelings for him, go to counseling and see what you can work out. Also think about the children, their needs must come first.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 7:38 PM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • Having read ggiovani's post, I must admit that if my husband ruled that I would not do something, that it would irk me. The only thing is that in matters of previous relationships, we can tell our SO's that they were innocent and not intimate, but the SO may still wonder if in time they might become intimate, or that it would be undermining our relationship with the SO. The SO wants to be the MAN in our life, they don't want another man being important to the SO's woman.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 7:41 PM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • Bmat- thank you for your honest answer. I don't feel like I love my current BF as much as I want to love someone. I in all honesty would not care if he had an ex as a friend. He's told me the reason he does not have girls as friends is becasue he feels it would give me a "license" to have guys have friends. He is very good to me, a great father but I'm just not as happy as I want to be and I'm thinking that maybe the "guys as friends" thing is my out...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:59 PM on Aug. 8, 2009

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