Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

If you can choose your friends, but not your family, then what do you do if you really dont want to be friends with your family? Just stay away from them? I dont think I should have to hang out with my family just because they are family. Do any of you have people like this in your life?

I choose my friends very carefully. I like fun people, and people who arent super judgmental. I like people who know their crap stinks too and we can laugh about it. I like people who think highly of themselves but are still willing to admit theyre wrong. I like people who know their kids arent perfect and are willing to admit that at some point in life, they will screw it all up and start over. I like people who are willing to give Grace and Mercy to others when THEY mess up and I like people who are real. Having said all that, why do I have to put up with family members who arent these things? I feel scrutinized by my family and they generally feel their kids can do no wrong while I am ready and willing to admit that my kids are normal kids who make mistakes. This family member even keeps her kids away from other family members kids because shes so paranoid. She thinks she loves her kids more than others. Shes delusional.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:36 PM on Aug. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (14)
  • My dh and I don't associate with his family at all. Its dysfunctional so we choose not to....we are very close with my family.

    Answer by calliesmommie at 8:40 PM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • I dont associate with a great portion of my dads side of the family and its better that way

    Answer by Dom123123 at 8:42 PM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • LOL - that's why I moved two states away from my nearest relatives on my mom's side. I don't miss them, either. Only last week met up with a cousin on my dad's side - she only lives one state away and that's good - she's close enough to visit!

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 8:50 PM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • I agree.. My boyfriend thinks that you should hang out with your family just because they are blood. I always point out that his family has stolen from him, said derogitory things about him and his family.. If a friend did that would you still be friends with them? No right? So why have that negativity around at all..

    Answer by EmmysMom85 at 9:04 PM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • I understand what you are saying...I feel the same way about my husband's family. Although they probably think I am the delusional one! I limit our children exposure to them. Especially the cousins who have already had a negative influence on my oldest daughter. It's hard because even though his parents help us out financially (hubby decision not mine...I rather suffer!) they have so many issues it is worse than a Jerry springer episode...there is theft, abuse, illegal drug use, drinking, etc. but he still chooses to be in contact with them. He is finally realizing he needs to limit his time with them is a little harder since we live in the same city almost.


    Answer by Brickhouse95 at 9:16 PM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • family can be toxic, just a fact. We're all human so if they make you feel bad for who you or your kids are, stay away and one day if they ask, tell them they were unhealthy for you.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 9:26 PM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • hehehhe we are getting that way with both sides they don't believe what we do

    Answer by goatmom4 at 9:44 PM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • If they are abusing you? Yes, you should be distancing yourself from them. It is not healthy for you or the kids. I distant from my family due to emotional, phsycial and verbal abuse on me, my husband and my kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:53 PM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • I have not spoken to my mother or my stepsiblings on her side for over 6 years because I realized I didn't like her as a person or how she treated me and my brother and sister. She made one big decision I totally thought was so wrong that I stopped talking to her and when I run into her we speak but just in real general terms. I agree family can be bad for some people.

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 10:00 PM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • I only keep contact with four people in my family and no one in my husband's family. The rest can rot.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:06 PM on Aug. 8, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.