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My best friend is going thru hell with her teenager who is 14years old and she keeps sneaking out the house and disobeying the rules. What do you do to have the child straighten up?

She is sneaking out to meet a guy and to drink and do some drugs. Her parents are still together and trying to help her but she keeps lying and sneaking out the house. They want to strangle her what should they do?Call the police? Kick her out? What! They have gotten the church involved and talked, cried with her and still no response, just a bad attitude. She is a cheerleader and starting high school. What can they do?

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anjie319

Asked by anjie319 at 9:15 AM on Aug. 9, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • My14 yr old son has been put on probation. It seems to curb some of his stunts he pulled. Knowing that i can call his po at anytime and have him locked up has helped. She should also not be allowed to be in cheerleding until she straightens up. Good luck teen years suck!
    DIANE463

    Answer by DIANE463 at 9:43 AM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • My son ran away and I spent the whole night worrying, he was in 8th grade then. The police said if he did it again he could be put in juv detention...if it had happened, I'd have let them. I'd call the police when she is gone like that and let them deal with it. Maybe she needs to learn what it's like there. Some of my kids friends have been to juv detention and they want to do alot better for themselves now. One gets to go to college
    Momchipomkids

    Answer by Momchipomkids at 11:24 AM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • She should lose all priveleges, including the door to her room. Can they put an alarm on the house so they know when she is leaving? Have the contacted the boy's parents? They can follow her and call the police to arrest all of them. Definitely have her tested for STDs.

    I would start by asking her why she is being this way. Then I would invite the boy over for dinner and get to know him.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:40 AM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • take everything away except a mattress, food and just the necessary clothes needed. She can earn it back.
    Soniam301

    Answer by Soniam301 at 7:13 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • okay..i read all theses responses and honestlyi dont agree with any of them. do NOT tell them to take her door away. a 14 year old girl needs privacy. i began sneaking out when i was 14 as well. i got caught at that age as well and my father would not allow me to shut my door as a punishment...well that just made me feel like a little kid. and it DID NOT make me stop. i snuck out until i was 17 years old. HONESTLY..why i did..maybe this is what shes doing,..idk. BUT from the time i was 15-17 i snuck out for the sole purpose just to get away, be with my friends whom my parents would not allow me to see. i haveto say no drugs were donewhen i snuck out and no alcohol eiether. i just wanted the company. my parents werent "strict" but they werent what i needed. if shes doing drugs then they havethe at home drug tests now..they can scare her by those. BUT if they forbid her to see whom ever shes sneaking off to be...CONT...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:55 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • cont.. with then that will push her even more to with that boy. trust me i know from expirience. i would tell your best friend(her mother) that she can parent but also be her friend. let her dd know that she's always there for her,.i am going to parent my dd this way and i know that things will come up like this,..i think it does with almost every teen, and i know i wanted a mother like that. just have her reassure her dd that whatever shes running from home for and angery about shes there to comfort and talk to her about. IMO sneaking out is NOT the worst thing a teen can do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:58 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • I told my (now adult) children that if they ever did that I would have no clue as to what to do so I'd call in the big guns who do. I told them I would not hesitate to call the police and if drugs were involved I'd put them in a hospital to get help. What she is doing is illegal. I'd call the cops. She needs to know there are consequences for her actions. I'd of course warn her that is what I'd do so she had the opportunity to stop.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:00 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • If the parents have insurance they should put her in a mental health hospital to get the child some help. There is no shame in reaching out for help with this girl. She needs to be able to deal with life beter then the way she is. She is not of age to make her own choices when it comes to curfew or doing what she is doing with the drinking and drugs. Mom and dad need to give her tough love, and get her the help she needs. If they don't they can only blame their selves.
    ronjwake

    Answer by ronjwake at 3:37 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • Why not follow her? Growing up, the worse thing was to have your parents show up and embarras you? I remember a big house party we went to and one of my friends snuck out the house to go because her parents were VERY strict and religious...we didn't know she snuck out but was curious she was there but happy as well. Before we knew it, there stood her parents at the front door, looking for thier child. She was embarassed and needless to say, she never came to another party...

    Sometimes, talking, crying, punishing, threatening DOES NOT WORK WITH TEENAGERS! YOu have to be pro-active and get out there and find your child and bring them back to their senses. I would walk a country mile to find my child and bring thier butt home!!!
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:14 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • I like the idea of taking the door of the hinge. Always talk to them and try to open the lines of communication, but the most important thing is your child's saftey. Tough love. But once you start you cannot give in. You have to be tough and consistant. Set limits and keep them. Set consequences and keep them. If she cannot act like a mature young adult then don't treat her like one!
    jillybean6781

    Answer by jillybean6781 at 10:25 AM on Aug. 11, 2009

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