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How can I talk to my sister without offending her?

My little sister is 21, she is always out partying and going to bars and hooking up with random guys. It really worries me and I know she has low self esteem, denies it though, and I am concerned that she will end up being raped or taken advantage of. I used to be wild at one point, but never to the extent she describes to me. She has already gotten an STD, luckily one that could be treated with antibiotics, but I am scared something worse will happen. How can I talk to her about her behavior?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:36 AM on Aug. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Does your sister have a career?

    Answer by bringin at 9:39 AM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • No, she has her associates degree, but she doesnt have a 'solid' career. Works as a supervisor in a local retail store.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:40 AM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • show her by your example?
    let her know that you used to be like that too and how it made you feel, how you are happier now that you do not do that

    if she is single and you have a good relationship with a descent man, she may not see you as understanding

    is she close in location?
    can you invite her over for get togethers? but not a bunch of couples..this is the worst when a person is single and everyone around them is a couple, it feels more lonely then being alone

    Answer by boredmom44 at 9:43 AM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • No, she has her associates degree, but she doesnt have a 'solid' career. Works as a supervisor in a local retail store.

    Well I think that if all the partying does not affect her job then good for her. She is only 21.

    Answer by bringin at 9:45 AM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • Well, I have other sisters in the area that are concerned as well. We offer to have sisters night out, with no alcohol or bar hopping of course but she always bails on us. We are all older, but dont need to drink or get sloppy to have fun. She blew off our mom for her birthday get together last week, mom was heartbroken. But I explain to her the error of my ways, and try to tell her the consequences. I have 3 kids and 25 years old....and ended up in a undesirable situation. I dont want to see her down the same path as me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:47 AM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • I was like that too, just too crazy. There's a difference between partying and having fun, than doing it all the time, getting way too drunk, and sleeping with numerous guys without protection. Then I met my SO and it all stopped, and then we had our DD. I guess I just didn't care enough about myself before, but then I didn't want to lose a good think when I met my SO, that's why I stopped.
    My little sister's kind of like that now, but at 21, if someone would've told me (which they did) to knock it off and grow up, I would've been offended.
    I would talk to her, knowing that you probably will piss her off, but at least you tried. Just give her advice, things you've learned etc. She just might take it better coming from you than a parent, like I had to deal with lol.
    She'll be ok. It's just the age.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 AM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • I honestly don't think talking to her about it would really help. I have a 21 year old younger sister and a 22 year old younger sister as well. I used to be wild and sometimes still can be but my youngest sister was doing all the things you described 2. Talking to her didn't change anything. I think people will change when something drastic happens or they really want to. She ended up getting pregnant at 20 when NO BODY thought she could handle that BUT she now has a great boyfriend and is an awesome mom. This was her "something drastic". Same for me as well. I do think it's good to just let her know you are worried and do care. You never know. It could help.

    Answer by girlsmomma06 at 10:01 AM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • Yea, thats why I wanted to talk to her. That something drastic for me was getting pregnant by a person that could barely take care of themselves. We are still together, but not for the right reasons. I dont want her to end up in that same situation. She is still young but I want her to act responsible. It would be embarrassing if she ended up pregnant and not knowing who the father was. I wouldnt want to see her on Maury getting 20 different guys tested...its that bad.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 AM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • If she doesn't want to listen then you can't make her. My sister is the same way. When I look at her pictures on facebook and so on they're all from nights out. She has pictures of herself lying on doorsteps practically exposing herself. She does things and then can't remember the next day. She's far too old for this nonsense; at her age I was finishing up my masters, married, and trying for a baby. She still lives with her mother and has never had a mature relationship. I tried talking to her about stuff but she just doesn't want to hear it. She hasn't spoken to me in months because of it but honestly I'm kind of past it all. I've spent my whole life trying to help her and support her but she just wants to treat me badly.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 AM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • When she tells you her stories then tell her your concerns. I sort of went nuts a fews years back acting wild and I'm WAY past 21. My sister had the same concerns you do. She didn't tell me to stop but she voiced her concerns every time I shared a story. It finally got through to me and I stopped being so wreckless. Of course now I'm depressed and I think I'm boring but my sister is happy.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:08 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

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