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How do you stop a daydreamer?

My dd daydreams all the time. I don't really want her to stop, but I want her to know there's a time and place for it. We send her to an expensive private school that's extremely competitive. Her grades aren't terrible, they're average. I know if she paid attention in class she could do better. It's frustrating.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:47 PM on Aug. 9, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • You know what? DON"T try to stop her. It will make things WORSE.

    Instead...which classes is she less inclined to pay attention in? If they're not required, then get her out of them. Cultivate the things she IS interested in, look for classes that encourage her to participate rather than sit there and listen. If the classes she's in aren't engaging and interactive, you're wasting your money on tuition.

    Daydreamers are the ones who go farther. Trust me on this one, Those straight A students from my high school? Most of them didn't get any farther in life than daydreamer A/B student me. In fact, I'm ahead of a few of 'em.

    And remember that your GPA isn't your destiny.


    Answer by gdiamante at 4:08 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • Have you had her check for ADD?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • Yes, she doesn't have ADD.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:51 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • hmm well "add" IMO is overdiagnosed..honestly. just explain to her that you need her to pay attention in school and daydream while shes at home, or in her own time. just explain that school is very important.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:53 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • We've explained over and over again how important school is. It's like she can't help the daydreaming.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:02 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • Could she not be challenged enough? Have you had her tested for a higher grade? Maybe the subjects are just not holding her attention.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • Yes, she's challenged.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:37 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • Why do you want to stop her? She can't help but day dream. She could be bored in the class and is daydreaming for that reason. There could be a lot of downtime. Why would you want to change who your daughter is? It doesn't matter what you do, say,etc if she is a daydreamer that is what it will be.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:06 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • Does she seem fine otherwise? Is she happy? Not stressed out? If she seems stressed out it could be that she daydreams because the school environment is too pressured for her, and with you constantly reminding her about how important her grades are, maybe she needs a break so she daydreams... I don't think the daydreaming is a problem necessarily...maybe she will be a writer or something creative like that. If her grades are still okay, and she understands the work and seems competent and happy, gets along with her peers and sleeps well, etc. then I would let her daydeam!

    Answer by BJoan at 10:49 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • I daydreamed a lot in school, mainly because I was bored. Most of the work was too easy for me or the class moved to slow for my ability. Is this a possibility?

    I hated to see a moment of my time wasted. I'm still like that today. I cannot sit and do nothing! My mind is always going and I'm usually doing 2 things at once.

    She may need more challenging work to keep her engaged. Or she may need something to help keep her focused.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:37 PM on Aug. 10, 2009