Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What is co-dependence? Can I stop and will it open up his eyes if I do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:14 PM on Aug. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • two people who cannot survive on their own! they depend on each other for EVERYTHING!

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 7:18 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • yes you can stop! if you have the will, you can do anything!

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 7:19 PM on Aug. 9, 2009


    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 7:19 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • it's when you put the needs of others before your needs. You live for them, you think you'd die for them, you always make sure you do everything they want to do and put your wants and needs on hold (or ignore them) to please others. You've spent a lifetime becoming one so it would take a great deal of help and time to "stop" and by that time he'll be long gone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:24 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • it's not easy to stop being who you are. If he doesn't accept you as you are now then you change and no longer be the you that he was first attracted to then what's the point of opening his eyes?

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:32 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • codependency is devaluing yourself and putting too much value on someone else. Many times the spouse of a codependent is an alcoholic or drug addict or abuser and the Co-D. enables that person by doing everything for him/her. The Co-D normally has low self esteem and is a people pleaser (or so she thinks) but she ends up allowing others to walk all over her and take advantage of her so much that it wears her down to where she stays depressed and wonders "why do they treat me like this when I do so much for them?" Stopping can be done but it's not easy. Try to find a support group in your area. The fact that you worry about him opening his eyes tells us that you are on the right track to seeking help for this. Your goal should be about you opening your eyes and not putting him and his eyes first. Your post is an excellent example. Good luck.

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:47 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • p.s. I worried my first post was too harsh so I hope my rephrasing was more helpful.

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:48 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN