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Is it better for a single mom to live close to the birth father, even though he only sees the child for a few hours per week?

My baby's father is not all that involved in her daily life. He comes over to see her once a week, but only manages to visit for 3-4 hours. While he's visiting, he's usually surfing the net or chatting on his cell phone.

I've been a good sport about it all, and made the choice to stay in the state so they can have a relationship. But it doesn't seem like he's making much of an effort.

My family is in my home state, and they would provide love and support for both my daughter and me. I would be much happier there. I am depressed living here, but am willing to do so for my daughter's sake.

Is a few hours per week enough of a reason to keep me from moving to my home state?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:42 PM on Aug. 9, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • then leave! no point in keeping yourself miserable. your daughter will be happier with a happy mama & the rest of your loving family. if he doesn't mind, then go.
    Wheepingchree

    Answer by Wheepingchree at 10:39 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • No don't sound worth it to me. You either tell him to hang out with his kid on his visits, not on his phone or PC, or you're out of here...Simple as that. He's not holding you back because he can't juggle his priorities.
    mumma28

    Answer by mumma28 at 9:51 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • Yes. Anything is enough because although it may not be what you want for your baby (understandable) but troubles could arise if you take the baby from him. Just make sure you and him are both being flexible. If he's not, then it's his fault but seeing her is still better than a lot of fathers who never come over. It's sad for him that he won't spend the time with her but at least he's there. He'll eventually learn that he needs/wants to be there and if he doesn't, it's his loss. I'm sorry you're going through this and that you're getting depressed because that's horrible. Just wait it out because eventually, things always work out for people. Again, hun, I'm sorry for you having to go through this.
    TheJBug

    Answer by TheJBug at 9:51 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • Sounds like a great guy. First, I wouldn't let him surf the net or do anything except play with your dtg during the visits-it's the very least he can do. Second, it sounds like moving back to where you have good support would be better for you and your dtg. I would talk to the guy and see how much fuss he would make about the idea. If he doesn't seem all that bothered, then you have your answer. I hope he's at least paying child support........do what is best for you and your dtg....good luck!
    connorsmom1970

    Answer by connorsmom1970 at 9:54 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • I think I like conner'smom's answer\
    mumma28

    Answer by mumma28 at 10:03 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • my behind would be packing as we speak
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:11 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • I agree with connorsmom
    MommyLee08

    Answer by MommyLee08 at 10:13 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • Be careful. He may have rights that you would be violating if you just pack up and go without a court agreeing to it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:13 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • OP

    He already said he didn't mind if I moved out of state. I would never packed and leave without talking to him first. He's on the birth certificate. Since we don't have any court-ordered custody arrangements, we technically share custody.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • DO YOU NEED HELP PACKING????? BECAUSE WHEN HE FINDS ANOTHER WOMEN/GIRLFRIEND I BET YOU ANYTHING----HE WILL NOT COME SHE HER THEN--- SO YOUR STAYING AROUND WHY???
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

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