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my teenager is very scene ( if you dont know what that that is it is kind of like punk and emo mixed togather) and im fine with the way she is but she loves this one band "Blood on The Dance Floor" and they are very screamo and all there songs are about sex and use the "F" word more in one song than i ever have in my whole life. I wanted to know if i should be worried she is NOT cutting hershelf or anything but is it bad for her to hear bad words that often ect.?
And are any of your kids scene? What do you do leave them alone and be themshelfs or change?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:18 PM on Aug. 9, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • My daughter is only a year old so I have no personal experience but my mom is going through your situation. My little sister is 14 and listens to the same stuff. I told my mom just let her be herself because if you stop her then she will rebel and she'll just do it behind your back. If she's a good kid and hasn't done anything for you to question her behavior just let her listen to what she wants.
    drs1206

    Answer by drs1206 at 10:22 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • well, im 22 and a mom, and i have piercings & tattoos, wear goth clothes, listen to screamo and metal music and go to shows etc. so i really have no problem with it obviously and wouldnt have a problem with my daughter being that way. let her be herself. especially now while shes young and she can. one day shell have to get a job and probably be forced to conform. i dont think blood on the dance floor talks about sex?. they might curse, but i dont think they talk about sex that much. i mean, really.. whats the big deal with cursing? its just words. as long as she doesnt curse AT you like say "fuck you". yano?
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:28 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

  • My brother started seeing a girl who is scene. The music does have a negative effect. They start talking that way and thinking in the disrespectful dirty way that the music speaks! It encourages harmful behavior and sex. My dad felt that rap and scene music was harmful and didnt even allow cds of it in his house. I was upset then but now I understand and respect that choice.
    amber710

    Answer by amber710 at 1:33 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • Its fine. Its just music. As long as she is not cursing in front of you or anything there should be no problem with letting her listen to her favorite music. and most emo/scene kids dont actaully cut themselves its mostly a sterotype. Shes fine just support her because your lucky you didnt end up with those terrrible jock/preppy children.
    jhutch8267

    Answer by jhutch8267 at 3:03 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • My daughter has been labeled as scene or goth. She says she's neither. She listens to Rise Against and some bands that I can't remember but I know are pretty screamo, etc. She's really into stuff that is anti- government. But she's a great kid and in honors classes and likes to try to draw manga so I'm good with whatever she chooses. She's never been in any trouble and rarely goes out so I'm not going to complain too much. And I can guarantee that at school kids hear language and talk that's just as bad as the songs. I would ler her continue trying to figure out who she is. Unless she's getting in a lot of trouble I don't think it's a big deal.

    anime_mom619

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 5:17 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • I would be very concerned, but thats just me. I find myself being much more conservative than younger moms. Im only 32 but I find that as an adult I need to monitor what my kids listen to. We dont listen to that kind of stuff in our home. Its destructive in word and in sound and if you feel in your instinct that its not okay, then its likely not. I think music is very powerful and those who thinks its not are only kidding themselves. Music has the power to make people think and feel and that type of music has power over minds. Im sorry, but it does. My dd has music that I dont like. Its usually the rap crap and has a lot of cursing. I dont FORCE her to not listen to it, but I dont allow it in my home. She can listen to it on her own time and I dont allow it around my other children. I found that if I compromise with her by finding common ground on music WE BOTH like, it influences her. She will do what I do no matter WHAT.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 7:46 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • As long as she's not harming herself or others, she is not swearing at you or others, still in school and doing relatively well, being sexual safe/responsible, and has a healthy dose of high esteem then I don't see the problem. We all express ourselves as teens.
    cabeachgirl770

    Answer by cabeachgirl770 at 8:21 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • LOL....well, I'm a mom of four teenagers, and I work with a youth group. I don't mind screamo music, but I don't appreciate the F word in the lyrics of any music. I wouldn't allow it. I know they hear the words at school, but if you allow it in your home, you'll leave the impression that it's all good. It's up to you whether that's "all good" for your family or not. I'm glad to hear she's not cutting, but check to see whether her friends are or not. I don't care what anyone says...kids influence each other. I see it all the time.
    MinstrelMommy

    Answer by MinstrelMommy at 10:51 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • It isn't "just music." Whatever you're listening to is the message that's getting into your brain. I have 3 teens and they all 3 listen to different types of music. The rule is that it's in your own room so the rest of us don't have to listen to it and nothing obscene or abusive. Whenever I hear my daughter listening to that type of crap, we talk about what kind of message she's getting from it. And no one can convince me that they don't listen to the words, just the music. If that were true, why can we sign every song we listened to when we were teens ourselves? Being parent is also about guiding our children, not just letting them do whatever they want and forget about the conse quences.
    ceallaigh

    Answer by ceallaigh at 11:25 AM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • i remember one time when i was about 17 my brother was 20 he had a cd by the wu tang clain or something like that well he made the mistake of bringing it in the house instead of leaving it in his car like normal well one song on that cd was called wu tang aint nothing too fuck with well lets just say that cd became a Frisbee for my mother from a second story window lets just say the cd died brother was not too happy but learned that stuff like that was not allowed in her home and that if he wanted too listen too it take it else place he was grown but she did not want it around me even though i was 17 there is other was too express our self with out using such words mom didn't mind clothing or hair color as long as it was kept clean nothing hoochy or rude too others
    greeniemommy

    Answer by greeniemommy at 4:04 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

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