Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do you tell your hubby?

that you've cheated on him.....I didnt have sex with this other person but we did kiss and i feel like shit, Im afraid of what he will do anyone one else that has went throught this please tell how it turned out for you.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:07 AM on Aug. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • Tell him straight out and if he leaves you then that's on you. You made your bed NOW LAY IN IT...

    How would you feel if he did it to you?!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:16 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • I have been their and ignore the anon first response. Don't you love when people have rude remarks but never want to let people know who they are? Anywho...People make mistakes. I have done the same thing kissing and more sometimes with other women. NO, my husband does not like that. Cheating is cheating. I did tell him straight up which I suggest you do too. The whole honesty part could help you a bit. Kissing someone isn't so bad but he's going to ask why so you should really stop to think how you're going to respond to that question. You should know that answer for yourself as well. If you did it once are you going to do it again? I don't know how your husband is but most men in general want to know all the things that they really don't want to know.
    girlsmomma06

    Answer by girlsmomma06 at 8:22 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • What would telling your dh accomplish? It would ease your guilt, it would make you feel better, it would take away that sneaky feeling you feel bad about. What would it do for your dh? It would hurt him, make him doubt your love, make him feel insecure in your marriage, make him trust you less, make him second-guess himslef............you being "honest" with him, will do more for you than for him.....you didn't sleep with someone else...so when you think of it that way, it's doing you more good than him to tell him.
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 8:33 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • I agree, and please do ignore the anon response...anyway, right before I moved out I kissed another man and started a relationship with him. I felt horrible about it, even though I knew me and hubby where splitting up. I told him about it anyway, and felt better for doing so. Just come clean and be as honest as you can about it. Good luck!
    jillisue808

    Answer by jillisue808 at 8:34 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • I agree with RobinAnn - telling him would make YOU feel better, but what would it do for HIM? I think you should just live with the guilt and let it be a lesson and a reminder never to do it again.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:40 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • I cheated on my husband. Fully cheated. And I felt awful and I told him on the phone while he was at work because I was scared to tell him to his face. We stayed together for another year after that. But he told me later that he'd have rather me just never tell him than to tell him. I felt better after I told him but watching what it did to him was awful. He lost 20 pounds, couldn't sleep, couldn't stop crying.....I ruined his life by telling him.
    munch12502

    Answer by munch12502 at 9:10 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • I also agree with Robinann, the only person that telling would help would be you, why hurt your husband. There is no chance of an STD from your encounter, so let it go, don't do it again, focus on being a good wife for your husband and honoring your vows. (((hugs))) and good wishes to you.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:17 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • I agree with Robin also. All you did was kiss. Let it go and by being a better wife to your hubby will take away the quilt in time. Why hurt him more. Having said that, if there is any possibility that he may find out, please tell him. That would hurt worse if he found out from someone else.Good luck hon, I wish you the best. You really didn't do anything that bad.

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 9:38 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • I agree with Robinann.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:52 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. He's your husband NOT your priest. Do NOT confess to him. He's not going to see a difference between you kissing another man and sleeping with another man. He may even think you did when you didn't. Just don't do it again but don't hurt the man and lose his trust needlessly.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:10 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN