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Kids seeing you cry?

Is it okay for your kids to see you cry? What if the reason you are crying is because of them or their father? I am married with 2 kids (3 1/2 years and 18 months) and am very emotional. I do my best to not let them see me cry but sometimes I think it might be good for them or get through to them that I am that upset. But I am also concerned that I am causing damage.

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mom2reagan

Asked by mom2reagan at 8:42 AM on Aug. 10, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (6)
  • Its one thing to let your kids see you cry when your upset. It can be a great emotional teaching tool. But be careful when letting them know they have upset you. I dont think it will cause long term damage but your kids will end up feeling much more terrible about it then you do. Think of how emotional you feel, your kids emotions run two fold. When it comes to things they did that upset you try explaining it first. But it is good to let children see every emotion. Just be sure you can explain it to them.
    Goldie_And_Luke

    Answer by Goldie_And_Luke at 8:52 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • I will cry in front of them if I am in pain. For example, I had surgery on my ankle the other day, and the painkillers weren't helping. They saw me cry then. I try not to cry in front of them if they upset me, although in recent weeks I have. I broke my ankle, and they have taken full advantage of my inability to get up and discipline them. Seeing me cry when I reach my breaking point has made them (temporarily) stop the bad behavior. But usually I try not to. I also try not to cry if I am upset by other things in front of them, just b/c they will want to know why I am crying, and some things just are not any of their business or are things that they just don't need to be worrying about. I prefer to simply tell them with words how I feel. And if I do cry b/c they upset me, I try to apologize and explain to them that I didn't mean to do it, and that I'm upset about a lot of things, and that they shouldn't think it's all on them
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:09 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • My girls see me cry a lot. I generally don't tell them why I'm crying...just that mommy is sad and they are very sympathetic and caring towards me. I think it's good for them to see mommy has problems too. We are human's and pretending we don't is more damaging that letting them see how we cope with problems.
    munch12502

    Answer by munch12502 at 9:20 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • My kids see me cry when I'm upset and when I'm really happy/proud of them. I do my best to explain the difference. I don't think my children have upset me to the point that I wanted to cry---YET! But I would probably let them see it. When my ex and I separated, I spoke with a child psychologist and a therapist and they both said "let him see you cry and grieve for it. It lets the child know that it's okay to be upset and helps them with emotion as well." When I had two deaths this summer they saw me cry
    lissa27504

    Answer by lissa27504 at 9:26 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • Yes, they've seen me cry. When they ask if Im ok I say yes just a little sad. Then I get a hug and all is better and they go off to play again.

    If they ask why I am crying...again I say Im a little sad. I would never tell them I was sad because of them or their father,etc.
    Amaranth361

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 2:44 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • My kids have seen me cry. Because of how I treat them when they cry, my children have learned to be incredibly compassionate and loving.

    A few weeks ago I cried and all three kids, including the not quite 2 year old, came to me with hugs, kissing, back rubbing and tissues. No matter what other mistakes I have made as a mother, I learned that day what things I had done well.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:01 AM on Aug. 11, 2009

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