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How many of you think this is really true?

Ok, you know that book, He's just not that into you? Well I read the whole thing from cover to cover, and it had some great advice in it. One of the best was where they polled 20 men and none of them in their current relationship was pursued, they were all the pursuer. How true do you think that is? I mean will a guy who's into you really make the first move ALWAYS? What if he's really shy, is it ok then to make the first move? I like this guy at church but he is SO shy and always has been. I've been trying to apply the book to my life and just let someone ask me out, but I don't know about this situation. What should I do, should I just hold off? (we sit on the same pew and talk after church, sometimes go out to eat after church with friends) but he never asks for my number or anything. I'm confused on this LOL.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:06 AM on Aug. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • ask him, don't rely on a book to tell you haw to date that's crazy

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:09 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • *OP* I hate this!!! I'm recently single after 5 years, but I was seeing someone for about 5 months and that ended badly. I hate getting hurt and I am scared to death that if the next guy treats me like the last one then I'm going to be scarred for life. I don't want to be single my whole life but I don't want to go through the heartache either. Wouldn't it be great if you just met someone and "knew" all about them LOL

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:13 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • I agree with Anonymous that you shouldn't let a book tell you what to do. For me personally, I prefer to be pursued, not do the pursuing. It makes me feel more feminine, and I view a man who pursues me as more masculine. You need to decide how YOU want a relationships to begin, and if you're comfortable with being the pursuer then go ahead.......if you want a man who will pursue you, then this guy may not be the guy for you......

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:13 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • BODY LANGUAGE. If you like to read then read a book on body language so you can give him the message that you are available and interested. The best thing I know off hand is smile at him. Talk with him. Let him feel comfortable with you but yes let him pursue you.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:13 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • I pursued my husband and we're married for 19 years. I don't think 20 men and a book dictates all relationships. Good luck with shy boy.

    Answer by parrishsky at 10:28 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • How about you just live your life and be yourself instead of stressing out about this? If nothing else, nobody can ever fault you for being yourself.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 11:07 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • *OP* I'm not stressing, just asking for opinions.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:29 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • i pursued my bf...were not married yet but we've been together for 4 years, have a baby, are planning to get married, and are extremely happy together. If i hadnt, i think he would have been too shy to and we wouldn't be where we are today.

    Answer by landons.mama at 11:30 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • if you go to church then i suggest you pray about it and see what God tells you and go with that. trust God not a book.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:38 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • Or you could try reading "What Southern Women Know about Flirting'" By Ronda Rich. It was funny, interesting, informative, and covered all types of flirting, not just Courtship flirting. She had excellent advice on how to coax your shy guy out of his "shell" and stll allow him to pursue you, when in reality you started things. Good Luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

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