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What age did your child start having sleepovers with friends whose parents you don't know well?

My daughter is 6 and has been asking if she can have a friend from school spend the night. I'd love to have her over, but I've never met her parents and I'm afraid they'd think I was strange to extend this invitation without meeting them first. I remember being in Jr. High and spending the night with kids who my parents had not previously met, but I don't recall when it started. Do you think I should invite this girl over? If not, how can I get to know the parents well enough to do so?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:42 AM on Aug. 10, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (15)
  • 5th or sixth grade just make sure you get a number and all that fun stuff

    Answer by Korysmom96 at 11:44 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • Maybe just have a playdate or 2. I usually invite friends over to play and after i feel they are more comfortable I offer to let the child sleepover.

    Answer by ria7 at 11:44 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • I'd send a note, in an envelope, to the school with dd to give to her friend, and have her tell the friend to give it to her parents. Leave your phone number in the envelope and explain that you would like to speak with them because your children have become friends and want to have a sleepover. Then, when they call, you can get to know them. I didn't do sleepovers much so I don't know when my parents decided they didn't need to know the parents.

    Answer by Petie at 11:45 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • I dont let my young children go to other peoples homes for the night. Unless its family. I think around 10 or 11 theyre old enough to understand the bad things people can do. I tell them all the time stay close to me because people are bad and take kids. I dont think they really get it yet. I dont want to send my child to a friends house and have one of the parents molest my child or something. I dont trust people well. I was kidnapped as a child and I dont want that for my kids

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:46 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • Well, no matter what age, dont let a child come over if you havent met the parents. Thats never okay and dont let your child go until youve met the parents. Thats just good parenting. If your daughter wants her newest friend to come over, then see if your daugther can get ahold of the phone number. Call the mother and explain that your child wants her child to come over. Feel her out and see how she feels about it. She might prefer a day visit or she might not care. Spend some time talking and getting to know her. You will be able to tell if you like her or not or if you feel weird about it. I do anway. If she is okay with it, then set a date and when you go over to get her, spend a few minutes with her in person. Assure her that you will take good care of their child and give her a brief summary of what your plans are. Ask her if she wants her home at a certain time or anything else. I have found that usually all goes well.

    Answer by momofsaee at 11:46 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • Give the Mom a call.. That's what I do. Maybe get together for lunch or a play date at your house or hers... The age to start sleepovers depends more on the child. Our boys started st 5 yrs old but I was friends with the parents as well.. The Mom will let you know if her child is ready to sleep away from home. And if you wouldn't let your daughter stay the night at a friends then it's probably best to wait to have one over.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:49 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • I was okay with my girls having friends over and going to friends houses about 7ish or 2nd grade. Now that my oldest is a teenager, I am the designated friends house. My girls know that they dont go ANYWHERE unless I have met the parents and because that embarasses them, they usually have their friends over. By the time she turned 13 or 14, I assumed that the parent would call me if they wanted to meet me. To my surprise, many of them didnt care. They just sent their teen home with my dd after school. One mother, who I found out later really would rather her kids NOT be home on the weekends, sent her child to my house for 3 ENTIRE weekends in a row before she met me. I thought to myself, does she not CARE? what if we are serial killers or something? She obviously trusted me, which was fine, but I began to feel sorry for these teens. Their parents obviously had better things to do than parent their children.

    Answer by momofsaee at 11:50 AM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • IMO 6 is way too young...My son might be a teenager before I allow sleepovers if I don't know the parents VERY WELL. People may seem nice in public but we don't know their histories, etc.

    Answer by NJMom2Tyler at 1:11 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • I think you should call up the parents, tell them the kids would like to have a sleepover, and invite them over for a BBQ or something -- something very laid back & informal --- so that you can get to know each other.

    Who knows? They might not even care if they know you or not... BUT once their child sleeps over at your house, your child will want to sleep over at theirs. You need to ask yourself how well YOU want to know THEM before you allow that.

    Answer by Laura1229 at 1:12 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • my oldest had her first sleepover this past year (she was 7) I'd only met the parents in passing.


    Answer by hypermamaz at 1:23 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

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