Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What can A Newlywed do? If her DH picks his sons & mom over You?

If you've been in the picture for 12 years... You're now married. Your DH is older. He has Teen sons. he sees occassionally And A over protective mother. The new MIL causes so much pain & problems! When they're altogether you're left out! He wants no more Children but you're in your' 20's & had none! You're fine with that. But you hate being excludded or coming last! Especially A long term relationship! The first year the happiest or the lonliest & hardest? Please! Ideas? Dooomed?? What could you do? Anything Work? Can't change him & them? Over or not? Am I considered A step mom? Is there A day for me? He gives all of my stuff, treats, foods, prescribed diet items & special gifts of mine to his sons. Which live in A very wealthy home with their mother & step Father! They don't have A care or need not met! Jet set spoiled pampered Boys. High school & college ages. Is their hope for me? Or will I always come last if at all?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:08 PM on Aug. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • If you want children, you deserve to have them. Why be in a marriage that makes you unhappy?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:12 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • so you were 8 when you hooked up with this man? Why would you marry a man who treats you like this? In 12 yrs you had to know what being married to him would be like and that his kids and mom come first. You accepted that then. Did you think it would be different when you said I Do?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • uuuh didnt you realize all this before you married him? i mean 12 years is long enough to know someones habits. I dont think he will change. You want kids have them its not his choice its your body. Tell him its either gonna be his baby or your finding a sperm donor. Dont ruin your life for someone who obviously could care less

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:15 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • You knew he wanted no children when you married so it's not on him. you are living the life of a woman who married a man with children that are not hers, if you were not ready to accept that you should not have married him or even dated him.

    Get over your self

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:21 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • yeah that sucks. it all depends on you. it could be that with time you can battle your way up to being an equal with your man, or in time you can learn your place beneath him. those are the only two ways you will be happy. pick one or the other. frankly, i think you may have a daddy complex if you let him treat you like he is the boss. if my hubs took anything that was mine and gave it to some other woman's kids...i don't care, i would kill him. he is not just spoiling his kids (and if he was that isn't as important as:) he is disrespecting YOU. he is telling you who when how and why and you say, "yessir" but are hurt inside about it. so, hike up your panties and make a woman out of yourself...or go cry in a corner but make sure that it is quiet so you don't disturb him.

    Answer by spazlilsister at 1:37 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • I would say his sons will always come first. I told my dh before I married him that my kids would always come first, and he told me he didn't expect anything else. Your husband shouldn't be giving YOUR things to HIS kids, that's wrong.

    Answer by missanc at 1:39 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • His sons will ALWAYS come first.

    Of course you're a stepmom.

    His mother should NOT come first. THAT has to change.

    If you went into the marriage knowing there wouldn't be kids, then it's the bed you made. Lie in it or find a new bedroom.

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:08 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.