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Is this cheating or not?

My husband had a bachelor party at a strip club before we got married about 3 years ago. Just now he told me that he felt one of the girls inside her with his finger and she told him only the out side. I don't know why he would wait until now to tell me. Is this cheating or not????


Asked by Anonymous at 12:21 PM on Aug. 10, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Why on earth did he tell you? He's an idiot...but was wrong, very wrong, but he was at a bachelor party, that's what goes on. Is it cheating? That is debatable... it was more like a stupid thing he did with his buddies...I assume this happened while men were egging him on, not alone in a back room somewhere.... but you have every right to be upset...I would be furious and for a long time.

    Answer by gramsmom at 12:25 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • How would he feel if he learned that you gave a guy a handjob at your bachlorette party?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • disgusting...yes i guess it is a form of cheating, but regardless of what you call it im not sure y he would choose to bring it up now. Does he just feel guilty? what he did was wrong and who knows how much alcohol was involved, if he was a little freaked about getn married, if the guys were egging it on. I would not be ok with it, but it doesnt mean he will go a cheat and have a relationship with someone else. Maybe he just wants to be true to you and never have you find out another way.

    Answer by ria7 at 12:35 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • cheating= forethought and most time- emotions. randomly fingering a girl with a finger when she didn't even want it- makes him perverted when drunk...not a cheater. smack him upside the head. then do it again for telling you about it.

    Answer by spazlilsister at 1:08 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • he fingered another woman, what do you think? thats an intimate action.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:22 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • yes, it's cheating but it was 3 years ago - does it change how you feel about him? Why did he tell you about it? Just to make himself feel better? IMO, stupid to tell you now. I don't think you need forethought in order to cheat, that like saying that if my dh ever gets drunk and has sex with a girl that it wasn't cheating - that's ridiculous.

    Answer by missanc at 1:37 PM on Aug. 10, 2009


    Answer by mandole82 at 1:49 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • To me, anything that my husband/boyfriend would do to me while having sex or trying to get me in the mood for sex, would be cheating if he did it to anyone else. So, to me, even just resting his hand on another woman's thigh would be cheating. I definitely consider what you described to be cheating. Would I leave over it? Well, it's 3 yrs later. Has he cheated since? Has he given you reason (other than telling you this) to doubt him or not trust him? Has he always been a good husband, a good father? If your relationship was perfectly fine until he told you this, then I wouldn't leave. It will take time to get past it, and he needs to understand that even though it was 3 yrs ago, you just found out, so it may as well have been today. If you had other problems, then you may want to consider counseling before you just up and leave, but this could be the final straw if you were having other problems.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 2:31 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • fOR ME hell yea! it is, if someones loves you then he wouldnt want to do anything with any other girl,so i say yes sorry.

    Answer by jeonit24 at 4:26 PM on Aug. 10, 2009