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i feel like a bad person, is this rude?

i went to my friends daughters first birthday yesterday but i couldnt afford a present, i didnt think about getting a card but she sent me a message telling me that i only came to eat and then i started crying...

i went to wish her daughter a happy birthday and i was going to get a present when my cashaid for going to college came


Asked by pookipoo at 7:17 PM on Aug. 10, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 18 (6,127 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (38)
  • Wow! ....with friends like that..???? Who needs enemies! IMHO she was rude! very rude! Apparently She was more concerned with the presents than with sharing the experience and the first birthday experience with her family and friends. Sad..very sad....

    She is willing to risk a friendship over a birthday gift? Does your friendship mean soooo little to her.?

    It is time to really look at this friendship and ask yourself it worth the effort? Is this an isolated incident...or a reaccuring theme? Is she a person of value to have in your life?

    I hope SHE apologizes! ...or if you choose to salvage the relationship you may wish to share how hurt your feelings were.

    good luck

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 7:32 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • It was rude that she even said anything to you about it. You don't really have to buy something, you could have just made her a card or a present. Did you tell her that you didn't have the funds to get her anything but you'd give an IOU instead?


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 7:22 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • I think that was rude of your friend. She must of only invited you so her daughter could get another present. She should of just been happy you came to help her celebrate your daughters birthday. I don't think it is necessary to give a present but is nice. That is not a reason to invite someone. What a friend she is.

    Answer by JacobsMommy05 at 7:23 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • yeah and she said that she 'heard' that i was talking about the food for weeks... the only person i talked about the food to was her and that was because she said she was serving lumpia

    Answer by pookipoo at 7:23 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • She should've asked you what the deal was first before being mean to you about it.
    Is it rude? Yeah a little, but I've done it before too for the same reason, short on cash. It's completely understandable.
    If you hadn't shown up, would she have called and said it was ok she just wanted you to be there if you'd said you didn't want to to because you couldn't afford a present?

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:24 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • what a nasty mean friend!!!! That was horrible and greedy!!!! Just write her off. You're too good for her!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:25 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • Well, I have been in your situation before and I spoke to the person up front and let them know that I want to come, but I am cash strapped, so would it be okay if I just got a card. I ask first to make sure they understand that my heart is SO in the right place and would LOVE to buy a gift, but I simply cant right now. ALL of my friends and family understand this. They have sympathy for me. When I can buy gifts, I buy NICE gifts and go all out but when I cant, I try to do at least 10 dollars. There have been times when I couldnt get anything and I just told them. Im sorry your friend was so not understanding. To even accuse you of just coming for food is ridiculous because you could have stayed home to eat. That doesnt even make sense. I think that she is very immature and very petty. Her chld likely got many things and doesnt need another gift. Call your friend and explain. If she doesnt get it, shes not a friend.

    Answer by momofsaee at 7:25 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • yeah i sent her a message back saying that i couldnt be her friend anymore because she has been nothing but mean to me lately and i'm too sensitive. i stated it as nice as i could though. i just dont want to have to cry about things like eating too much food at a party.

    Answer by pookipoo at 7:27 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • Gifts should never be expected. Your 'friend' was wrong to say that to you. She already got the gift of you caring enough to attend her daughter's birthday and help celebrate.

    Answer by Pnukey at 7:27 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • I also agree with the PP that she only invited you for an extra gift. Thats definitely the pot calling the kettle black and I might mention how badly her words hurt you.

    Answer by momofsaee at 7:27 PM on Aug. 10, 2009