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Anxiety (long but I need to get this off of my chest)

For many years I have battled anxiety, but I didn't know what was wrong with me. I just recently learned exactly what my symptoms mean and I don't think my dh gets it. My issues aren't the "norm," but I can't help myself so be kind: I start to get panic attacks whenever I'm stressed. Like if I'm running late or if I'm trying to clean the house and the cat throws up on my newly scrubbed floor...stuff like that. If company is coming over I have to have my home immaculate. I stress hard core over that. The thing that gets me the worst though is if there is a knock at our door. Immediately I begin to panic and if someone actually wants to just walk in without telling me that they're coming 1st, I lose it! I didn't have a chance to clean, I haven't had a chance to put on my make-up, I can't handle it.

My dh thinks this is hilarious and teases me, which causes me to have terrible pains in my chest (also from anxiety) CONT...

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:06 PM on Aug. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Get you and hubby into counselling to make him understand your medical condition. Ask your primary for referalls or call therapists in the phone book. They can teach you coping methods.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • CONT... It hurts me to have him not get me and I feel embarrassed. I feel like this loser when in reality I know that this is a legit medical problem and that I should be doing something about it. There have been a few nights when my chest has hurt so bad from a panic attack that I've actually thought about killing myself to make the pain go away. I can't tell my dh though cause he'll just tell me to get over it or something. He thinks I can just make this stop, but I can't. What do you all think I should do?


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • well you should go talk to a doctor and tell your symptoms. Its not his position to keep up on ur psychiatric issues, its urs

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • OP: Dh is the only one working right now and if I want to get meds etc I have to talk to him about it. If I can't get him to take me seriously, I can't help myself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • I know exactly how you feel. In my experience I get anxiety over what others may find minute. I usually keep it to myself. I've been in counseling to deal with other stressful events in my life and have found that I suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). This is my own conclusion I came to after doing some research. People like myself who have a type A personality are more likely to suffer from this problem. We get bent out of shape over things that aren't always that major. And when things really go haywire, we really lose it. At least it's been that way for me. I've gotten a lot better by finding positive outlets (like singing/listening to music, journaling, or fitness/exercise). It helps you burn off that extra energy that builds up. It also helps to be in touch with what's really going on inside your head.

    It's unfortunate your DH can't seem to understand what you're going through. CONT.....

    Answer by geminigirl18 at 11:18 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • Like someone else mentioned above, see if your DH will go with you for counseling. It might paint a clearer picture for him to help understand just how serious of a condition this is. It's nothing to make fun of. It only makes the anxiety worse. Don't let him or anyone else make you feel "crazy". I really hope he comes around. It will help you get better. Best of luck. And don't stress. You're perfectly normal.

    Answer by geminigirl18 at 11:21 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • First of all, google Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Find it on a reputable website. Print out the information and give it to your husband to read over. Maybe seeing something in print about how horrible this illness can be will help him to understand. Then you both need to go to counseling. You should probably do both joint counseling and then counseling for yourself to help with your issues. If the psychiatrist feels you need it, they can prescribe you an antianxiety med like Klonopin or Adivan that you can take when you start to feel panicky and it will ease your anxiety and your symptoms while still letting you be a functioning part of society. I know a lot of people do not like to immediately suggest meds, but I was at the point where you were, where the pain of no one understanding and the physical pain really drives you to the brink of insanity. the medicines gave me the time to get it together, I didn't need them long.

    Answer by AprilDJC at 11:26 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • I don't understand , do you have insurance? If so screw your husband, go to the Doctor get your meds . Your life is worth so much more than money, call the suicide hotline they will refer you for help hopefully free help if you need it to be free.. PLEASE get some help, my brother killed himself and it is still devastating. Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 AM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • Before you screw your husband and go to the doctor and get meds..... Make sure your doctor sends you to a therapist to help you cope with your problem, maybe even BEFORE you actually take the meds. A good shrink won't prescribe you anything until he evaluates every possible situation. To me, it sounds like an anxiety associated with OCD. I knew someone really severe, but it could be what these other ladies are saying too, that's why you need a proper evaluation. Don't jump right to meds, and your husband is to be with you "IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH" If he can't do that without laughing (keep in mind men suck at dealing with this stuff, and he could just be a typical man), then he needs to get a clue. However, I don't like people coming over when me, my kids, or my house is "dirty". which it really isnt, but it's not immaculate either, to me anyway. It may come from our mothers, or it's in our heads. You have to try and ...cont

    Answer by mumma28 at 12:50 AM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • ..let it go. Do your own therapy. If you feel the need to clean, go for a walk, distract yourself, play a game with your kids. That's what I do, then I pick 2 days out of the week to do major cleaning. 1 day is the bathrooms, thourough, and the other is dusting, everything, cleaning kitchen including floor etc. I vacuum every other day ( I have no pets), sweep twice a day (my DH makes a mess) do dishes 3 times a day, sometimes twice, I make my Dh do it after dinner. (no dishwasher), laundry twice a week, and I straighten up, I've learned to not freak out, like I said by distracting myself with other things. My house is clean today, but somethings are out of place, and it looked dirty to me, then I felt overwhelmed. I sat down and here I am, distracting myself. I tell myself, tomorrow is my day to clean. Tell your DH to help you get it done, mine has the day off tomorrow, I'm making him help me.

    Answer by mumma28 at 12:56 AM on Aug. 11, 2009

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