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When do you let your child cry themselves to sleep?

I have a 13 month old son and we are trying to let him fall asleep on his own. He gets a bottle and I rock him for a short time. At that point I lay him in his crib and he wakes up and starts to cry. I tell him Mommy loves him and leave the room. At first his cries are pretty sharp but then they get more muted and tired. This lasts normally 10-15 mins. Then he falls asleep. I'm wondering if this is the right thing to do. I just want to make sure he can fall asleep on his own but don't want him to feel like Mommy doesn't love him or that I won't be there when he needs me. Any advice/feedback is appreciated. Thanks!

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McNuttMom

Asked by McNuttMom at 11:08 PM on Aug. 10, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (26)
  • I have a 13 month old and 3 year old and I never let them cry themselves to sleep. my 2 1./2 year old can fall asleep on his own with some encouragement (for instance a bedtime routine and lights off etc) but I would never let my kids cry themselves to sleep.
    Precious333

    Answer by Precious333 at 11:12 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • I know I will have to do the same thing soon. My son will be 10months soon and I can't do it yet. I can't let him cry longer then a couple of minutes, like if I have to go to the bathroom and he cries when I leave the room. I hate if he cries so hard he chokes on his own saliva...it freaks me out and makes me feel really bad. ugh I will have a hard time getting him sleeping in his crib. I want to do it when he turns 1.
    mommylovesu28

    Answer by mommylovesu28 at 11:13 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • I think 13 months is fine for that. I am not somebody that agrees with CIO for under a year, but after a year I think it is ok.
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 11:13 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • and to add...... don't do unless you are fully convinced thats what you should be doing.
    Precious333

    Answer by Precious333 at 11:15 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • i think its fine, your child is old enough to know you are there for him when he really does need you. if you aren't comfortable with it though, than don't do it. or you could try to maybe sit in his room and see if that keeps him from crying.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 11:15 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • Your kid is old enough.

    You can just pay attention to the sound of the cry. He's at a teething age, so if it's a painful sounding cry, you might want to tend to that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • I was so anti-CIO until I had a child who refused to sleep! She wouldn't take a nap until she was 8 months old...and finally after reading every book and website and talking to her pediatrician and my mom we decided we had to just do whatever works! I finally found an amazing website called www.askmoxie.org that REALLY helped me let go of the guilt and stress and find a solution that worked for OUR family. Now my 20-month-old is the best sleeper ever! She loves her little bed and usually lets us know when she's ready for naptime or night-night. Check out the website (click on Sleep under the Categories) and good luck!
    BeamerBruin

    Answer by BeamerBruin at 11:22 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • I never have. I've heard a great book is the No-Cry Sleep Solution though.
    MamaJen74

    Answer by MamaJen74 at 11:29 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • I never let my dd cry herself to sleep. She used to have the greatest schedule, but we've been so busy lately and traveling that her schedule is all messed up. In fact, she is still awake right now, and I'm exhausted. I have to work harder to get her back on her schedule again, but I will not just put her in her crib and let her cry. I think it's cruel, it's just not for us.
    BridgetC140

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 12:06 AM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • I would never ever let my baby cry her self to sleep! That is soooo mean and lazy! Don't do it. My lil girl is 21 mos and has never had that happen to her. MEAN and UNMOTHERLY!

    bubbaelea22

    Answer by bubbaelea22 at 12:31 AM on Aug. 11, 2009

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