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Good or bad, do you feel like your childhood has anything to do with the way you parent?

I practically spent the first 6 years of my life in the back seat of my mom's car. Whether she was at work, partying, drinking, doing drugs, etc. I was dumped off with any ol' person my mom could find to babysit me, and I remember vividly 4 different times I went to daycare for a week, and my mom snuck me out without telling the sitter because she didn't have the money to pay for my care. Obviously my mom and I have never had the proper mother-daughter relationship as I would have expected to have with my own child, but it has taught me exactly what I DON'T want for my DS.

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matobe

Asked by matobe at 11:46 PM on Aug. 10, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 21 (10,174 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I think so. I think we al do or dont do things that our parents did with us. Whether we realize it at the time or not.
    MommyLee08

    Answer by MommyLee08 at 11:48 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • of course how i was parented determines how i parent my child. from the fact that my parents always fought in front of us, so i refuse to even have a discussion w/the possibility of raised voices in the house if my kids are home, to the fact that my parents didn't let us see or hear anything outside or cartoons, country music and full house type shows til i was well into high school at which point i knew practically nothing about life aside from school and cartoons, so i don't plan on sheltering my children as much. to small things, like what my kids eat for dinner and what time they go to bed.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 11:50 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • yes my mom would leave me and my 2 sisters at home by ourselves alot- i was 6 my sis was 4 and my other sis was a few months old- she would tell me that if the baby wakes up give her the bottle and put her back to sleep- also she catered to her husband (my step father) more than me and my sisters at times- i remember getting money for my birthdays from family members and my mom would take it from me and spend it on cigarettes for her and him and when i would ask when i can have the money back she would say that when she buys me clothes and food thats the repayment- hmm wut else oh yeah at 12 i got a waitressing job for the summer and she would take my tips and pay away saying she would hold it for me and she would give me 5 or 10 dollars and then later on when i would see something i wanted to get i asked her for the money for it she would say the same as with the bday money...then i remember around 13 a friend of hers and my
    lovelyli217

    Answer by lovelyli217 at 11:59 PM on Aug. 10, 2009

  • Yes, it does affect how I parent. I was raised in a very very conservative family. We did not express our feelings, we did not talk about important issues (I didn't know what my period was when it happened. I was 12). My mom NEVER said the word sex. Never. We never had that discussion. But we did grow up with a CLOSE sense of family. We were always having family reunions, huge family gatherings, all that. I also brought all my traditions from my childhood to my kids lives. We make crafts and bake at the holidays, we find the magic in every holiday and special occasion. I am thankful hubby's family was more open because we have a very open relationship with our kids. They can talk to us about anything. And though I shelter them, he is able to tone me down on it lol.
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 12:02 AM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • stepfathers would come around and hang out and i remember one day he came in my room drunk and kissed me and tried shoving his tongue in my mouth and i couldnt even tell my mom for fear that she would get mad at me so to this day she doesnt know- theres a whole huge list of things including her allowing my stepfather to kick me out at 16 almost 17 yrs old and pretty much abandoning me so yeah i can say that because of those things i definitely know how NOT to raise kids
    lovelyli217

    Answer by lovelyli217 at 12:03 AM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • absolutly..i was raised in a good house and i was always cared for i never went without. but the attention i needed from my mother and the love and such that i needed was not there when i was a teen. i want my dd to come to me whenever she needs something or is fearing something etc. i want to be very close with her. i wouldve loved to have a mother that was my best friend. thati s what i want for my dd. im going to raise her with the love of nature and not to worry about looks and such. my family always made fun of how i was.( im considereda "hippie" i guess lol) and im proud of it. my mother was more of the type to call us (me and my friends) grungy and dirty..ya know? she didnt instill the fact that i could come to her with anything. be my bestie. i will raise my dd to know that there is no judgement passed by me.
    naturepeace

    Answer by naturepeace at 12:07 AM on Aug. 11, 2009

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