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*REPOST* Good or bad, do you think your childhood has anything to do with the way you parent?

I practically spent the first 6 years of my life in the back seat of my mom's car. Whether she was at work, partying, drinking, doing drugs, etc. I was dumped off with any ol' person my mom could find to babysit me, and I remember vividly 4 different times I went to daycare for a week, and my mom snuck me out without telling the sitter because she didn't have the money to pay for my care. Obviously my mom and I have never had the proper mother-daughter relationship as I would have expected to have with my own child, but it has taught me exactly what I DON'T want for my DS.

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matobe

Asked by matobe at 11:47 PM on Aug. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Level 21 (10,174 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • yeah, i feel the same way. i think about everything that happened in my childhood, and it lets me know what i want and how i want to raise my son.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 12:22 AM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • I think so. My mom was a teen mom and I vowed to do everything different than her. I waited until I was an adult and in a stable and loving marriage before having children. I wanted my kids to know they were wanted before they were concieved and not simply the result of a drunken one night stand when I was 14 years old. I never treat my kids like they are a burden and something I needed to survive. They know mommy loves them every single day and I take joy in being their mother. My kids never had to wait for me to grow up they had a grown up for a mom. They get to be kids when I was my 7 years old age I was paying bills and taking my wagon to the grocery store to buy milk and food for my 5, 4 and 3 year old siblings. I raised my siblings and never got to be a kid.

    It does affect my parenting and my parents who did finally grow up said they have no clue how I am the mom and I after being raised by them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 AM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • sometimes I think kids do better as parents when given a crappy childhood...but not all the time. I had a crappy childhood and moved around so much I became an anti social pot smoker and got pregnant at 16. From that moment I was devoted to be being a kind, considerate,loving parent. Everything as I knew it ended and changed things for my kids. So while I gave my kids a sheltered life they have no clue and are irresponsable. My son is the youngest at 4 yrs old and he will be doing things differently. Parents(humans) make mistakes what is important is that you learn from it. not repeat it
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 1:20 AM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • Most definitely and especially with my DH. His mother disappeared when he was 10 and he was raised (sort of) by a very hands off father and they had a bad relationship. My DH is a very hands on dad (actually he is the SAHP) and makes it a point to let the kids know he is there for them. He also makes it a point to make sure I am around for the kids to.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:48 AM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • Most definitely. I learned how to parent due to my childhood. I became mom to my little sisters when I was 10. They would call me mommy because they thought I was because I would take care of them. My mother would stay up till 6am doing God only knows what and then sleep till 2pm. I would have to get them up, dressed, feed them and when they started school off to school.

    My mom was just horrible. She would beat my brothers in front of me. Psychologically abuse me. I never knew what was expected of me (one day she would tell me to sneak out and party and then if I asked to go to one I was told no, something might happen to me). My straight A grades weren't good enough. When I was raped I was told to get over it because it happens to every girl. She bullied my therapists into telling her everything so I stopped going. My childhood sucked. I would've starved if it wasn't for my brothers.
    purpleducky

    Answer by purpleducky at 7:51 AM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • When i was young my mom was into drugs, drinking and men. Whatever her flavor of the week was. I watched her BF try and slit my older brothers throat. I watched that same BF of hers follow my mom thru the house with a loaded shotgun pointed to the back of her head. I was only 7 when that happened. After all the things i saw my mom do and all the BS she put me through as a child, i told myself i would learn from what she did and NOT do anything that she did. I think that our childhood experiences have a lot to do with how we are as parents. Some of us learn what not to do with our children and we make sure our kids are treated better than we were. And some of us who had a bad childhood, think it's ok to do to our kids the way we were done as kids. Even though we know we hated it and it was wrong.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:04 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • Absolutely. I learned both good and bad from the way my parents were.
    NJMom2Tyler

    Answer by NJMom2Tyler at 2:24 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

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