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Terrible Temper Tantrums: HELP!

Hi, my little girl is now 20 months old and for the past 3 months has started having horrible outburst of anger. We had our second child just 5 months ago, and at first the pinching and hitting was only directed towards him. I considered this normal. But lately she has been hitting and screaming at everything...even me! She will hit objects when they don't work a certain way, or even pinch a strager for no reason. She grits her teeth and trys to squeeze things when she becomes upset. It is almost as if she can't control herself. Also I have noticed her hitting herself or trying to pull out her own hair... I fear she may have some real anger issues. I have tried to disipline with spankings or time-out and nothing seems to work. They only make her more upset. I knew I was going to hit the "terrible twos" at some point. But this is different. Even my mother and other family members are conscerned that it might be something more!

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Asked by TaylarAR at 9:50 AM on Aug. 11, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (4)
  • What does your doctor say? Don't switch between disciplines. The twos are very very temperamental and hormonal, brains coming out of babyhood into childhood. Be consistent with punishment as soon as bad behavior starts. I explained rules to my kids, especially my youngest two, ahead of outings finally and home days too often during outings and during the day at home. Remove child from area physcially especially if removing item itself angry about doesn't work. I've left tons of overflowing shopping carts in supermarkets freezers in the back when mine have been so bad. What you don't want is a child who's wild for any age any reason in a supermarket with shelves of items to knock down or in a room with tons of toys to chance throwing and hitting.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:55 AM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • I'm going through the same thing right now w/ my 19 month old twins. The moer attention you give to her bad behavior the more she'll do it. Be sure your having her help w/ the baby and spending alone time w/ just her to make her feel special:)

    Answer by twotwinsmom at 11:13 AM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • Honestly I have to sometimes put my toddler in her bed to calm down. Its the ONLY place she can be where shes safe and she can learn to calm down. I want her to know that normal people dont want to be around temper throwing people. Another thing is that right now its a struggle for them to communicate what they wan tto us. We have been having to tell her to Use her words and tell us or point to what she wants. If she starts that stomping or hitting. I either walk away or put her in her bed for a few mins. Good Luck,, and sending some patience your way!

    Answer by kelsbecca619 at 3:10 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • I agree with everyone above. I've worked with high risk kiddos for about 10 years & these are some of the ways we've dealt with tantrums. Just as a momma above pointed out, it is important for the little one to be in an area where there is no distraction (no toys, no tv, nothing to throw, etc). When my two-year-old begins a tantrum I make sure I explain the inappropriate behavior (odds are she won't hear it, but I do anyway), if she continues, then I put her in time out away from any stimulation (I don't stand & watch to give an audience). When she's calm I process her behavior with her calmly. If she's just not having a time out, off to bed she goes till she's calm. When she's calm we discuss the behavior. The discussion after the consequence is the most important part IMO because some kiddos can't just figure out the appropriate way to act w/o constant coaching and reinforcement. OH, & consistency is KEY! Good luck momma!

    Answer by kenzie07 at 8:03 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

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