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Making friends as we age... Is it as easy as it sounds?

It is really harder to make friends as we age. Why is that?
Where does one meet new friends when we're over 40?

Right now, I'd say I have about two close friends, and some scattered people-I-kinda-know around town. But I have no idea how to parlay these new acquaintances into friends.

I’ve been living in our town for over 5 years. I feel like an outsider still. I have not been able to make a connection to anyone in my area. My best friends live over an hour away and I miss having them around. We talk on the phone and get together occasionally but I would like to have that connection with people close by.

How do I become friends with people I only know enough to say "Hi" and talk about the kids?

Answer Question
 
Scrapymom3

Asked by Scrapymom3 at 11:04 AM on Aug. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I dont know! I know how you feel though. I have one close friend, two friends that I see maybe 4 times a year, and the rest are just people who say hi. It was so much easier when I was younger, in school or working, but as a sahm, it is hard!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:07 AM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • any events that your kids participate in, church, pto, school functions and your neighbors. neighbors have relatives and friends and soon you'll know them too if you become very friendly with the neighbors. just get out there and start talking to the grocery store clerk, the hairdressers, the postal clerks, everyone and anyone.
    if you can remember that other women your age are in the same boat, they would love for you to just come up to them at a function and start talking. other women are surprisingly just like you!
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 11:07 AM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • if you have acquaintances the way I go about making us more than that and more like friends is just say, hey do you wanna get a cup of coffee sometime?
    that works for me, im not 40 im only 18 but I dont see why a 40 year old couldnt do that. coffee or tea dates are for all ages
    Dom123123

    Answer by Dom123123 at 11:16 AM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • wish i had a definite answer for you. i moved 10 hours away from family and friends. i've yet to make any new friends in the area i live in now. there aren't a lot of other moms that live near-by and when i'm up at the school the moms there don't speak to me that often. i think my tattoos and clothes turn them away? not sure. do you go to church? maybe that would help you meet people. i've heard of people using craigslist as a way to meet people too. there are also groups/forums on yahoo and cafemom for other moms in your area. you could try that as well. good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:27 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • I was in a new marriage and all my friends were my ex and mine so we had to make new friends. We found a pub close by that we went to every Friday night for fish N chips. We started talking to people and boom we made friends. Find something you like to do bowling, kereoke or what ever and do it consistently, you will meet people with the same interests and away you go.
    dillonsma

    Answer by dillonsma at 2:05 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • I have actually found it easier to make friends now that I am older. (I am 30). My son is in elementary school and a lot of the women I am friends with I have met through the school, our kids being friends, school functions, etc. Not sure how old your kids are, but getting involved with school stuff really opens doors to meeting people. Also, just being active in your community with volunteering can help you meet people as well. I know how hard it is to feel like an outsider though, when I first moved here and was newly married I felt so lonely and didn't know anyone. Now that I am settled into the community I am known as "the girl who knows everybody" haha. You just have to put yourself out there, but I know that can be easier said than done.
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 8:22 AM on Aug. 12, 2009

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