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Tantrum how do I handle them?

I have a three year old that will get mad when you tell her no and throw things and pout. Quite a few people tell me I need to smack her and show her whos boss so that she doesn't do that stuff. I don't agree with that, I try and take the approch to talk to her and in simple terms tell her thats not ok. She still does it. Should I spank? What do I do?

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Asked by bncurry at 12:42 PM on Aug. 11, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (6)
  • I'm having the same problem with my son. all i do is put him in his room untill he says sorry, but i dont think he even knows what he is saying sorry for. So I would like some advice on this also! Keep me posted on what works

    Answer by Lisse_2006 at 1:40 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • I'm having the same trouble with my son. He apologizes and then goes right back to doing the same thing. Prior to this process, both my husband and I were not against spankingbut we have found that this is counterproductive resulting in him hitting other children. We have stopped and are trying to discipline by using time-out & taking away the item that he has thrown or losing the priveledge of having dessert or watching tv. Usually when we put him in time-out he gets out of the spot and we have to keep bringing him back . My husband was talking to him as he kept bringing him back. I reviewed the time-out tactic outlined in 1-2-3 magic (recommended by our ped.) & realized a mistake he was making was talking while bringing him back. I took over the process, returned him each time without eye contact and conversation. It took 5x and then he stayed in the spot and when he was done crying we talked why he got a time-out.

    Answer by Angstu at 3:20 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • I so understand where you all are at, I too am going thru the same thing. Just the other day we went to wal-mart and he asked for a toy, I said something small. We looked for almost 45 min so I told him we were done and needed to go. He screamed till his face turned red! People were looking and staring at us and I just kept walking and checked out and left. I didn't want to give in to him just because people were looking, first they don't know the whole story and second I didn't smack him. I let him throw his fit and when we made it out to the car he had mostly settled down. I try to use the same methods all the time like time out and taking things away, but not sure if he is fully getting it. We did how ever go to wal-mart today and he ask for a toy and picked something out in ten mins, so I'm left wondering if the other day helped. I'm up for any advice too!

    Answer by apetat11 at 4:10 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • I have 4 kids(plus a stepdaughter that I didn't raise) and with all4 of them I ignored the negative behavior. You ignore them they will stop. My stepdaughter has a 4 yr old, as well as I do and she will battle her son and it just gets worse and worse. When mine acts up I walk away and she thinks I'm doing wrong and just being passive. Your the adult, why get into a battle with a little kid? and why be mean? you want respect? they learn it by, the parent teaching it, by example. Children who get yelled at and hit early have attitudes and are hard to deal with by the time they are 12. I have seen it all to often. When the negative is ignored and the good behavior praised you get well adjusted teens. also if you walk away at the store they will follow you as soon as they no longer can see you.

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 4:34 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • 1-2-3 Magic is a great non spanking approach to discipline!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:54 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • On the surface if your child is seeking attention, then ignoring the bad behavior and walking away would seem to help them understand they are not going to get attention and eventually stop engaging in this bad behavior. But what do you do when your child is throwing things across the room, or flailing on the ground kicking at items in his way, or even knocking chairs over? Would love to hear everyone's feedback.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:31 AM on Aug. 13, 2009

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