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Will he change once the baby comes...?

I am 25 years old and am pregnant with my second child. I have only been with my boyfriend for 9 months and thats my logest relationship. He is everything i want. I may have missed a few pills in hope to all pregnant, and it worked. The baby is due in october. My boyfriend who only got out of a 5 year relationship 2 months before we got together, seems to be going out every sunday with his mates and goes out drinking occasionally, instead of spending it as a family with me, bump and my 6 yr old daughter! Do u think he will change when the baby comes...?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on Aug. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I dont but he might thats my opinion i would talk to him and let hum know how you feel he might not be aware or your feelings.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • I doubt it. It might happen more. You should talk to him. It sounds like there are many factors at work here.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • It's doubtful he will but who knows... a baby changes a lot of people. This is only my opinion but if he was in a longterm relationship and had just broken up, they enjoy the newfound freedom and you've let him keep it so he's not thinking there's a problem with it.
    Missing a few pills in hopes of getting pregnant was... wrong if he wasn't clued in on that decision. That's called entrapment as far as I'm concerned. I'm not bashing you for it but he could resent you later if he figures out that this wasn't an accident. I'd keep that information completely to myself because a ticked off friend might help clue him in on that.
    Talk to him about the problems. Good, gentle communication is the key to a great relationship.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 1:50 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • It will go one of two ways, although I can't tell you which. He'll either look at his child, melt like butter and fall so madly in love he gives all that up and fully devotes himself. OR he will get so totally overwhelmed and freaked out he'll do it all the more. I would talk to him now and give him encouragement. Let him go to see the ultrasounds with you. Let him make some decisions on the nursery/clothes/feeding/etc... Sometimes we get so carried away with planning, the men are just standing by without feeling as though anything is really happening yet. Maybe if you could coax him into getting involved now he'd be more excited about your new family. Good luck.

    Answer by ErinHill226 at 2:08 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • Of course not. We are all just bigger versions of who we were in kindergarten.

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:10 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • I don't think so - it sounds like even though YOU were ready for a 2nd child, he wasn't included in that decision. Plus the fact that you've only been together 9 months? I'm sorry, but what were you thinking "missing pills in the hopes of getting pregnant" with a man you barely knew??? Hopefully next time you will wait until you are in a stable situation before you get pregnant, especially since you already have other little ones to worry about.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • Your story sounds sad to me. 25 years old...pregnant with your second child...longest relationship is 9 skipped birth control to get pregnant to "trap" him when you barely even knew him and now you're worried about him changing or leaving you? Sad. For now you should just focus on bettering yourself and your self esteem level.

    I'm not bashing...just giving you my opinion.

    Answer by NJMom2Tyler at 2:20 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • It sounds like he didn't give himself time to be a "free" man so to speak before jumping into a relationship with you. I hate that you thought skipping a few b/c to hopefully get pregnant was a grand idea in this relationship. And if the baby is due in October that would mean you skipped these pills 2 months in? Oh honey, that was such a bad decision. My advice is to prepare yourself to support your two children and yourself, just in-case the relationship goes south.
    Good Luck...

    Answer by KennsWifey at 2:41 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • Not very many men are the spending time with my family types. I got pregnant after four months with my first, married when I was seven months pregnant. Now I have three kids and have been married for five years. The only difference about him going out, is he goes by himself instead of with friends. You said he is everything you what's the problem? I don't know how long he stays out drinking( mine can stay out till 5 or even 9 in the morning), but trying to change him can make things worse. Once HIS child is old enough to do things with...he might stay home more often. But to doesn't sound like he goes out all the time. You should just be lucky he's still there with you after your "oops' with the pills

    Answer by GotToHaveFaith at 3:38 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

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