Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

why do people think that counsiling is the answer.

ok so often i hear of people saying something about their childhood and now they need to be counsiled for this that and the other why can't those people grow up and relise that it was the past and that right now is the future and that not one person has the answers. its about growing up and putting the past in that past. and those who think oh we have to go to counsiling for our marriage. well in the end we don't think we did any wrong although our partners do. and vise versa how about talk and change ourselves and if that fails. it was meant to.


Asked by Anonymous at 1:41 PM on Aug. 11, 2009 in Health

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Most people who go into therapy do so to help them deal with the person who should be in therapy.

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:05 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • For some people, counseling DOES help. Often it IS the answer. For me, it was...not for dealing with the past because I don't look back...but for finding a different viewpoint on handling troubles I was having in the now.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:43 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • I know what you mean in a sense, but there are some people who were abused in their childhood that can cause them emotional problems later in life (even into adult years). I think it depends on the extremeness (sp?) of the situation whether they need to just "grow up" or get counseling.

    Answer by SheriSpencer at 1:45 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • That's the whole point of counceling, to help people process what happend, learn and grow from it. As with all things human there are those who will use their childhood as an excuse but most people are just trying to live life successfully.

    Answer by teamquinn at 1:47 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • for some people couseling does help. it didn't help me but it helped my brother. some people need someone who doesn't know them to help them learn how to look past everything that happened to them. my brother needed that help, all i ever needed was my friends. sometimes people need an outside source to show them how to "grow up". sometimes its not so easy and it's a good thing you never had to deal with anything so horrible that you felt you needed a counselor.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • It's one thing to ask for opinions on sites such as CafeMom and to see what answers you get and decide if they would help, but another thing to talk face to face with someone who actually has training in counseling. Sometimes I recommend counseling because a problem sounds so very serious or very sad that I don't have any suggestions.

    Answer by Bmat at 1:48 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • For some people who have had a severely traumatic incident happen to them in their past, they CAN'T get past it without some sort of counseling and when it effects everything you do because of fear, social anxiety etc. it is very much a problem NOW and not just something that happened in the past. Don't you think people who suffer with things like that would love to be able to just say "Oh, well it was "x" number of years ago that that happened, it's done and over with I'm moving on." ? Don't you think they WISH it were that easy? It's not a matter of just growing up and moving on, everything that happens to us has some effect of the course of the rest of our lives, whether we like it or not. It just depends on how much of an effect something has on us, and sometimes people need a little help moving past things.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:49 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • counseling is never the answer. they make you feel like your a victim and they drag it out as far as they can. when really just accepting the fact that yeah what happened was shit. and tragic , but we need to move on. and get on. and not look back. then we will be fine

    Answer by jessiesosore at 1:51 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • Counseling is for people who can't "just grow up," for what ever reason. How does it hurt you for other people to get help using what ever method helps them?

    The purpose of marriage counseling is to help the married couple communicate so that they can make their marriage work. Again, if your marriage isn't worth saving, how does it hurt you that other people feel their marriages are worth saving and use what ever avenue open to them to make it work?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • You think it's better for Married couples who are going through a rough spot to just say "Forget it" and get a divorce without trying to work things out? Couple who go through counseling generally want to fix things and having an outside perspective and somebody to help them see past their own selfish point of view (as in tunnel vision, me-me-me attitude that can accompany issues in situations where counseling may be warranted) can be very helpful for some people. Some times you're so wrapped up in your own head and how you feel that you can clearly see the way out of a problem with your spouse and a counselor is there to help with that. If things don't work out after that at least they can say they took their vows seriously, that they tried and gave it their all and didn't just give up when the going got tough.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Aug. 11, 2009