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blended families (those who have not experienced need not respond)

so, here i am, on the verge of my divorce being finalized, with my three beautiful children right in the middle.
the kicker, HIS divorce will be final soon, and he has two amazing little ones. we have five in all!!!

i grew up as a part of a blended family, and i know first hand how hard it was to be the baby of six, but still an only child.

any advice for avoiding the pitfalls? i love this man with all that i am, and have since i was but a wee girl (i've known him since i was 11). he treats my babies as though they are his own, sparing nothing. he is patient, gentle, and almost reminds me of mister rogers... i do not have concerns for how mine will interact with him, but how his will interact with me, and with my babies. we have not had the opportunity to spend time with them because of the situation with his ex. long story... i'm just concerned. you all, please just be honest- what have your experiences been like?

Answer Question
 
ObbyDobbie

Asked by ObbyDobbie at 4:08 PM on Aug. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Level 34 (70,074 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • The best thing you can do is treat them the same way you would treat your own children. You can always let them know that you are not trying to replace their mom just that you love their daddy and would like to be a part of their lives.
    BooBear666

    Answer by BooBear666 at 4:14 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • the calling him dad part, my oldest still calls my hubby "tom" and now our 2yr old is repaeting and im having trouble, the "green with envy" will come into play also, will you have urs and his on diff weekends or the same? cause what cause a prob in our house is my stuipd ex is still alive and so he has dud for every other and we have jb all at home, does he get on to ur kids? or only you? that us, at first it was just me but now he has started, sometimes its good and sometimes i just want to run, but all in all i say you know what to do and you just have to roll with the punchz..
    ArlieBeeMee

    Answer by ArlieBeeMee at 4:16 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • his discipline style is a little different from mine, but my kiddos obey him without much of an issue. they know that i expect them to. i don't expect him to have to be the disciplinarian, but i also won't stand in the way if he needs to correct. they have to learn to mind him. my babies are 8, 4, & 2. the 2 year old doesn't even know his dad. we've been separated for quite a while. his are 18 mos, and 3 1/2. talk about stair steps! at least i don't have to worry about any more!
    i was the only product of my parents union, but i'm the baby of six, so i totally get jealousy... it'll just have to be dealt with.
    long and short, it just worries me. am i going to be able to do this?
    his girls are precious, they are such a huge piece of him, and so they are a big piece of me too. i love them as though they were my own. i guess i'm just afraid of screwing up.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 4:31 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

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