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I need help with baby parenting style

So, before I had my baby,(he is 5 weeks) I wanted him to sleep in his own bed..etc. But now he is sleeping with me, all the time. I said I wasn't going to be one of those moms who held their baby all the time, but I can't stand to hear him cry. It makes me so sad. Am I going to be able to get him out of my bed? Did I start something terrible? I know my Dh didn't want him in the bed, but when I asked him, he said as long I am getting sleep. He has continually slept on the couch though every night. When should I start trying to get him to sleep on his own? I have tried, but he just screams when he is alone in my room. Help! I am torn between what I orignally wanted to do as far as sleeping arrangements, and now I am not sure if I can undo it, as I don't want him to cry.

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:10 PM on Aug. 11, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (20)
  • there is nothing wrong with making your baby comfortable when they are upset! i said i wouldnt have my daughter sleep with us, but i couldnt stand to have her cry either an she wouldnt stay asleep in her crib. Shes almost 6 months and ive now got her to sleep in her crib. it took a while but i would hav eher take ALL of her naps in her crib, and now she is used to it. if she starts waking up, i just pat her butt and she falls back asleep. sometimes shell wake up but ill put her back to sleep and put her backin hr crib. dont feel guilty for doing whats good for your baby and it doesnt mean it will last until they go to college either lol

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 6:13 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • The first thing you have to do is decide if you want your husband sleeping with you or on the couch.

    Once you make that decision, you will find a way to do what you feel is right.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:14 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • My DH was the same way. And when you are a new parent it's scary, Maybe try to have him in a bassinet next to your bed so that when he does start crying you are right there to comfort him, as far as when? I would try as soon as you feel comfortable trying. My DS slept in the bed with me until he was 3 months old, then I put him in his own room and let him cry it out (only about 5 minutes). It took about 6 months for him to go to bed without a fight. When I had DD she slept in her crib from day 1. Good luck, and remember you can't spoil them at this age!

    Answer by jenree33 at 6:16 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • ok so you love your baby in a more cuddlely way ,you big sinner! lol you can break a kid from anything,but you could never love it enough :)

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 6:19 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • Wow anon, that sounds a bit harsh.

    I said I wouldn't let my (now 4 month old) DD sleep with me either.
    For the most part she sleeps in her pack and play by my bed. But she has those times, when she just wants to be close to mommy.
    So i started putting her in bed next to me.
    She passes right out as soon as I am next to her.
    I don't think there is anything wrong with it. And actually I find it comforting to me too.

    Answer by Princessofscots at 6:19 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • btw you can put your baby in the crib whenever you want love time,mine never stood in the way,and after a while my hubby said he liked him in the bed he has never said he's sleeping in the couch

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 6:21 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • " Am I going to be able to get him out of my bed?" Yes.

    "Did I start something terrible?" No.

    "When should I start trying to get him to sleep on his own?" Not for a while, to be honest. CIO advocates say not to do it before six months. Co-sleeping advocates say to do it for a full year. You will figure out what works for you.

    Answer by gdiamante at 6:23 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • ps the 1st time my DD slept in her crib all night, i had a nightmare i was so not used to being that far from her lol

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 6:25 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • How was that harsh? She said he was sleeping on the couch. Does she want him sleeping on the couch? The answer to that question will guide her in her decision.

    If she doesn't mind her husband sleeping on the couch, then she will continue as she is...cosleeping despite the fact that she is unhappy.

    If she would like to stick to her original parenting plan (and they are always up for alteration) and she would like her husband sleeping with her in the bed, then she will find a system that works for her and the baby to be in his own bed.

    It might be that she gets up out of bed when the baby cries, goes to him, comforts and feeds him then puts him back to bed...then returns to her own bed. It's worked for women for years.

    It might be that she will sleep in her own bed with her husband until the baby cries then go to the baby's room where she has a cot and she then spends the rest of the night with the baby.

    Common sense.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:26 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • I would just do what works. I personally keep the littles in bed with me. It is easier to nurse and fall back asleep than to nurse, rock, lay baby down, hope they don't wake up, go to bed myself, ugh. I have tried that before and now I just do what is easiest. All but one of my kiddos are in their own beds and sleep great.

    Answer by LisaPisa at 6:30 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

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