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having a baby when you can in no way afford would you give it up for adoption?

i if i ever was to get pregnant i would give it up because i would want to give that child the same opportunity as the child i already have, some would say its selfish but watching the 16 and pregnant show where they gave up that baby i now know that if i get pregnant before we can afford 2 kids thats what i would do those kids were so mature and beyond their years knowing that they can't give their daughter the life she deserves at the moment being young. there are some girls who have 2 or 3 kids before they are 18 and i feel sorry if the mom has no means to provide besides PA she has no reason raising 3 or 4 kids, i am NOT trying i am on the pill, its just hypothetical

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:32 PM on Aug. 11, 2009 in Adoption

Answers (26)
  • I would never give my child away, I also wouldnt try if I couldnt afford it. I think as a mother it is you JOB to make it work, and to make sure some how your children are taken care of..

    Answer by Mikayla_lynn at 6:43 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • I dont know if you belive in God but he will provide,im way to scared to give up whats mine,i couldnt sleep at night without my baby.ofcourse if i coulnt afford another kid i wouldnt risk being put in that situation,if you do the crime you do the time thats how i view life.

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 6:45 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • I would never give my child up. I would do EVERYTHING and ANYTHING to have the money to support them. I would get three jobs if I had to. There's no way I could go through a pregnancy and giving birth to just give the child up. I'm not insulting anyone elses opinon but I couldn't imagine a part of me being out there with someone else.

    Answer by CrystalJanie at 6:48 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • What is mature about handing your flesh and blood over to strangers?


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 6:55 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • I don't believe its bibical to just give away children unless in extreme situations such as rape. the bible says mother and fathers are supposed to raise their children not give them away.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:04 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • Maturity would be best exampled by abstaining from sex, or using two forms of BC at all times. I don't find it mature at all to make contingincy plans to give a child up if you wind up pregnant. As for the 2 on 16 and Pregnant. They said the right words but their actions and reasoning at times made it clear it was an avoidance of responsibility. I was raped when I was 20 in college. I was also a virgin. I can't imagine taking a single breath without her in my life. Her conception was not planned, not was it her fault or mine. It is far too easy and acceptable to have sex and far too easy to throw your kid away. Literally or figuratively.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:06 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • I could never give my children up, prior to their birth I had questioned the existence of god, but with the birth of my youngest I changed my mind. I feel so blessed that god chose me to be the mother of my children, they are as perfect as children can be and I know they love me as much as I love them. They are my little angels!

    My cousin was a teen father, he was not a ward of the state (was not on government services) his wife was young as well. He did drop out, though he provides amazingly well for his family, he worked his butt off to climb the cooperate latter and succeeded in life and he's only 30! He brings home a huge pay check owns nice cars, house, etc. They have a great life because he was not one to shirk his responsibility. God has blessed him for his perseverance.

    Answer by Wildkitten82 at 8:38 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • Coming from someone who has given a child up for adoption after having and keeping one, you say you could do it, but already knowing what it feels like to parent a child, being a mature, responsible person yourself (just guessing here), will weigh in when the time comes. I was so immature and irresponsible when I had my second child that I knew what I did had to be the best choice b/c I couldn't even parent the child I had at the time, he was with his grandma more than with me. That changed a few years later after maturity kicked in, my point is, you say you can do that shit, but you don't really know until you're in the situation. I would never ever do it again.

    Answer by mikeyjavimami21 at 8:39 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • I dont know why, but the answer given seem to be as if you are looking down on us birthmothers. As if we didnt want or try to keep our babies. I did. I wanted my daughter. I really wanted to keep her with us. But I was in NO place to parent a new baby. I was in the process of losing EVERYTHING I owned. It was a new relationship. It just wasnt the best thing for her. I ended up in a shelter for a yr and I began to slowly get back on my feet. I got a new home, I got things for my daughter and I. My daughter birthfather and I even worked things out and we now live in a nice townhouse and have a new son. There is NOT one day that goes by that I dont think of her. I miss her till this day and often wondered what might have been. I do know that she is loved, and happy and well taken care of. We birthmothers are NOT bad people.

    Answer by TLW514 at 9:22 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • TLW514, it does take one who is at the very end of her rope at times to place a child for adoption that they very much wished to parent. You made a very "parental" decision in placing her. It was the right thing at the time, and you will always love her and think of her, but SHE will grow up knowing that you thought of only her well-being. I realize that everyone's situation is different, and while I never think that I would, I am judging based on my current circumstances, which are good. But circumstances change and I don't honestly know what I would have done if I were in your shoes, because I have never been in your shoes. If I ever was, I would have to go from there. I am fortunate enough to have a very good support system, and that could be all the difference in the world. May God continue to bless you & yours.

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 10:52 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

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