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Would you let your 15 yr old live with your mom? Sorry kinda long--no bashing please--very confused

My son wants to live with my mom, who by the way lives 500 miles from me. He is very unhappy here where I live. He was born and raised where she is up untill about a year ago. Now he is getting in trouble (nothing major yet) every other day. Has MAJOR attiude problems. I think I should but then I think how can I just "give up" working with him and let him go. Just thinking that I might I feel like a failed at being a mother. I try to explain this to my husband (step-dad for my son) and he just says I'm being silly. He thinks it'll be better for him. Don't get him worng he does love him as his own. He tells me that if we don't do something now he may end up in jail, on drugs etc. But every time I think I'll send him to my mom I feel like I'm giving up on him and like I fail. What would you do? I need advice. We have tried punshinment, talking, yelling, everything we can think of. Nothing seems to work. thanks in advance...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:50 PM on Aug. 11, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Honey,don't feel bad,in the pass grandmothers alway raised the kids,I myself am raising my grandson,he is a twin and for some reasons he and his mom(my DD) just kept bumping heads,so,he stays with me.Although my DD lives 10 minutes away, I do all the schooling,clinic appointments. Don't worry what people say,you are not a failure,actually I would considerate you a very good mom, you see your son needs and you are doing something about it.I have learned that every child needs something different,my grandson needed 1 on 1 and a very special love,he open up around me he respects me,which teaches him how to love and respect his mom. God bless you and your family.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:16 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • If he is getting in trouble with you what makes you think he will quit when he gets to your moms? I wouldnt do it I would tell him to straighten up or go to boot camp and if he didn't straighten up I would do it.
    On a personal note. My mom tried the same thing with my oldest brother and it wasn't long before he started acting out there too. Sure he straightened up for about a month but he couldnt help himself.
    Maybe think about putting him in counseling of some kind? GL
    heather.darin

    Answer by heather.darin at 7:09 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • I don't know if I could send my kid away. But that is just me. I too would feel like I failed. I would be afraid that he would act the same with your mom, and can she handle that? Is this what he wants? Maybe he is acting up because he thinks it will get him what he wants. Maybe counseling would help both of you. Who knows could it really be better for him at your moms? In the end I always feel that we as mothers have to do what is best for our kids. Not just what makes us happy.
    Good luck and keep us posted.
    wallmom1

    Answer by wallmom1 at 7:18 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • Well I dont think you are a bad mom, I think you are being a good mom for wanting your son to do better in life. I cant tell you that he wouldnt get in trouble if he went but here is something for you to think about. Are you a strict parent or do you just let things slide? Is your mother stricter than you and better at disipline? I ask this because sometimes I threaten to send my kids to my parents because I know they are better with authority than I am. Most of the time my threats go in one ear and out the other but when mawma or pawpa says something it is different. If you think your mom will show him whos boss and how its gonna be I say send him but if shes the kind of person that he could easily run over or let him have his way, I say keep him with you and try getting him some kind of help. You are a great mom for wanting help for your son and you will do the right thing. Hang in there and good luck!
    heavenlypeace

    Answer by heavenlypeace at 9:07 PM on Aug. 11, 2009