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How can I show I appreciate him?

My husband says i don't show that i appreciate him. How do I do that? I mean, i do little things but apparently, they're not good enough. He works nights- I leave messages on his myspace page and written ones on his pillows. If i go to the store and know he wants something (like a soda or chips) I'll buy them. I mean, I try to be thoughtful, but I guess it's not what he wants. And when I asked him he told me to figure it out. We do so well for a while and then he can make me feel so crappy with one little fight. Sorry...went off topic.

How can I show him I appreciate him?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:29 PM on Aug. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (21)
  • A good back rub? My fiance always loves a back rub, especially when he doesn't have to ask for it. Maybe an extra special suprise that he isn't used to. Sometimes I'll get really good steak, like delmonico, or a kind of cake or cookie he likes.

    Is he looking for sexual favors? I got a nice(see through lace) bra and panties from walmart and it wasn't too expensive... like $20 for both, he really enjoyed that.

    The same things don't make every man happy, this is just what works for mine.

    Answer by OwensMama824 at 10:44 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • Maybe you are not speaking his "love language", and that is why he feels unappreciated. According to the book, The Five Languages of Love by Gary Chapman, they are:Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Sounds like maybe words of affirmation (your notes) and acts of service (going to the store for him) are not his primary love languages, though they may be yours. Maybe you could try the others on the list and see how he responds. Hope this helps.

    Answer by diospira at 10:48 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • More blow jobs... sometimes its that simple.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • most men love sex and think it shows appreciation. I vote for sex and make him feel like king of the castle

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:00 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • Well I think maybe he is just feeling stressed, and unappreciated. Not from anything you are doing or not doing. The things you said you are doing are good, keep those up. Try being very specific with him, tell him, out loud, in person, to his face, I appreciate you working so hard for us, or I appreiciate what a great father you are....just think about it and make it something specific to him.

    Answer by robinann5 at 11:02 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • I alway go to my huband and take his shoes off when he comes home from work,and if he is already taking them off, I stand next to him and run my figures though his hair and give him kisses on his head. Serve him at dinner every night, ask at least three times if he needs anything while he eats( I tend to eat standing up because of this). Put my arms around him and give him little kisses for a minute or so, and if he doesn't take the bate, then I turn over and go to sleep. Treating him like the king of the house is the only way that we don't fight. He is also mexican and was raised by a woman who still stands in a corner waiting for someone to need something. Just make him feel like the man...if you drull over him, he might feel better. And try to keep the house clean. and always tell him your sorry that the house is a mess when he comes home. It keeps my man happy now

    Answer by GotToHaveFaith at 11:53 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

  • OP here.... Hubby works night. During the day I have our daughter plus either on or both of my younger sisters (i babysit), so it's not like i can just go have sex in the middle of the day. So our sex time is limited. That also cuts out the dinner thing....he's never home for dinner. We are living with my parents so that leaves out most things intimate and "special" things. He's actually upset with me right now because i was out with my sister and had gotten a soda from the gas station while we were out and i came home with it and he's mad because i didnt get him one! Seriously? He's such a freaking baby!!! Ugh.......he makes me so upset with this crap.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:09 AM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • OP here again...... he's mad because it was his money that I bought the drink with. I understand that because he was saving up to get a game BUT all i have to do is cash the check my aunt gave me and he has it back. And i told him this last night! Im losing my mind when it comes to him. I could see if it was a cd or something pricey but it was a dang soda.....well, two cuz i got my sister one.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:16 AM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • How does he show you he appreciates you????

    Answer by MansfieldMomma at 12:31 AM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • Sorry, just curious, you deserve appreciation too. My DH also works nights. On the days that I am home when he gets up to head off to work I usually make him a fresh pot of coffee and sometimes I will make him a nice breakfast...yes, at 4:30pm...sounds silly, but that's his breakfast time so he enjoys that. During the colder months while he is showering sometimes I will throw a towel in the dryer so it's all fluffy and warm and take it to him. I know these sound a bit ridiculous and over the top, but I do want him to know how much I appreciate his hard work and the sacrifices he makes for our family. Truth be told, he does not do these type of things for me very often at all, but he does help with the kids when he is home and never hassles me about doing the things I enjoy, so to me it's an even trade. On the weekends when I am not working I also make sure he has his freedom and does what he enjoys with his friends. (fishing)

    Answer by MansfieldMomma at 12:37 AM on Aug. 12, 2009

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