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18 month old and planning on another

I need help in general with figuring out how to help siblings interact and not be overly jealous etc. We have an 18month old DD and we are planning on having another one (might be pregnant), and I know with just how she is now that she is going to have jealousy issues among other things with a new baby in the house. She will probably 2 maybe 2 1/2 by the time the next baby comes so I don't know if that will make too much of a difference really. Please any advice, stories, anything would help. Thanks.

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Bamzakarat

Asked by Bamzakarat at 12:12 AM on Aug. 12, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 13 (1,054 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • no there will be jealous issues but it will be outgrown once they are able to play together
    mirit.rose

    Answer by mirit.rose at 12:28 AM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • If you think she's going to be jealous, why wouldn't you wait until she's old enogh to understand a new baby and not be jealous? Like, when she's 3 or 4.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 12:31 AM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • My kids are 17 months apart. And it worked out fine. Sibling rivalry can exist in any age gap no matter how big or small. It can happen with older kids. Or younger kids. You just have to explain to your kid that you love them all and that babies need different care then toddlers or big kids. Keep explaining to them when they ask why they can't have something the baby has and it will be OK.

    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 1:06 AM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • My daughter was 10mnths old when I found out I was pregnant..at the time she was a Mommy's baby and clung to me and I thought the same thing about the jealousy and wondered how am I going to get through this..but she got over her attachment to me and I think the baby helped ...they are 18 months apart and the baby is now 16 months and my other daughter is almost 3 and I wouldn't change a thing...she loves and takes care of her sister and is usually very sweet to her...she does have her moments as most 2 yr olds do and she will get a little aggresive toward her but the baby is learning to hold her own..my sister and I are twins and Mom said it was great because we entertained each other and the girls are now to that age where they play together..believe me it won't be as bad as you think..it will be great...
    Jan40

    Answer by Jan40 at 1:07 AM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • she's too young for you to really be able to do anything. I'm pretty sure they don't have the cognitive ability to understand abstract concepts like pregnancy at that age. If you tell her you have a baby growing in your belly she will have no idea what that actually means, even if she says baby or something. Just get her a babydoll and show her how to touch it (ie don't stab its eyes). And don't wait just because you think one would be jealous. That can happen at any age.
    mrs_pulley

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 8:56 AM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • My middle two are 18 months apart and if I was planning to have more I would have them that close together. There is always going to be jealousy, no matter how you space them, and my two are SO close because they enjoy the same toys, games, and books. They entertain each other and once we got past the "baby" stage it made it so easy that they have always had each other to play with.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:57 AM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • i think at any age there will be some sort of jealousy for the only child, to now have to share your love and attention. in no way do i think that means you should wait, cuz its just gonna happen lol....while she may be too young to understand too much about pregnancy, once it does happen, she might be able to get involved. when you hear baby's heartbeat let her listen too! you can explain its just like hers, feel her heart, etc....of course if its possible for her to be there for that. as well as the u/s so she can actually see that baby you've been talking about. when you get excited and go shopping, let her help. its easy to pick up two things and ask her which one she thinks the baby will like. believe me kids know and can understand a lot more than adults realize. and again there will still be some probs as the new baby gets mobile, but its gonna happen, so enjoy your lil ones!
    AmandaN1

    Answer by AmandaN1 at 10:00 AM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • The main thing is to make sure you still make time for her. I think that goes a long way with helping younger kids understand an addition to the family. My kids are 18 months apart and 20 months apart and I didn't really have a huge jealousy issue. We included the kids in the pregnancy and in the raising of the younger sibling (bringing me diapers or wipes, pushing the swing, etc.) We also made sure (and still make sure even though they are 4,5 and 7) that we make one on one time with each child. I personally think that jealousy and sibling rivalry can happen at ANY age so waiting until they are older is not a for sure solution to the possible problem. Good luck!
    MynTop

    Answer by MynTop at 10:01 AM on Aug. 12, 2009

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