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So I need to vent....

My in-laws act like my son is their child and I just am so irritated! I really wish I wasn't but I am. If we are sitting at church they have to site next to me and when he is awake and I'm holding him they look over every minute and tell eachother, " He's ok, he looks like he is doing g ood for now." Hello he is great I'm his mother and I know how to take care of my son. Or she will tell me everything that he likes, like I don't know already. Just today She said she was going to get out the highchair and start spoon feeding him, I told her the dr. hasn't said that solid food was ok yet and she needs to wait until I talk to him. I feel like she is trying to compete with me or something. She already had her two kids this is my first and it took me 2.5 years to have him after trying that long, back off he is my son.What should I do? I really don't want this to get to me but it does. Anyone else have this issue??

 
ktinaza

Asked by ktinaza at 10:50 AM on Aug. 12, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 13 (1,230 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I'm sorry you are stuck in this situation. Since I don't know what your relationship with your in-laws was like before the baby arrived it is hard to give advice. It seems like you generally get along and want them around you and your precious little one. I tend to find the best approach is a direct one, but not confrontational. It can be a fine line, but try sitting down and talking to them at some point without the baby around (like when he is napping). Explain you are greatful they are there and want them to be around often, but to please only offer advice when asked. Remind them that it took you a long time to get pregnant and so you had plenty of time to read up on the latest medical information and decide what parenting style you wanted, etc. If you really feel they are trying to step in, kindly ask them not to. I hope this advice is helpful.
    NHRachel

    Answer by NHRachel at 12:03 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • easy. 1. go to another service time than inlaws go to. 2. go to another church than inlaws go to.
    3. firmly each time without being emotional tell inlaws thank you for your thoughts and walk away even in church. Pretend in church that baby needs fresh air or a diaper change. Every time they give unwanted advice "wheewiee baby made a stinkie" and leave and enjoy your baby.

    You're the mom but people no matter who will always give advice even when it's not about babies. Just say thank you and walk away go elsewhere or be elsewhere to begin with.

    Blessings on your baby mama!!!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:55 AM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • Sounds like to me that she is trying to help and doesn't quite know how to go about it, and comes across pushy. Unfortunately there isn't much you can do except thank her for the advice and then go on doing exactly what you were doing all along! My MIL is awesome but she is giving me SO much advice and the baby isn't even here yet (40w 5d lol). She thinks I'm silly for wanting to BF for at least a year, I shouldn't sleep with the baby in the same room, etc. She means well but the advice grates on my already frayed nerves. I just smile and say nothing, knowing that I'll do what I think is best and take her advice as well-meaning but not for me.
    Emuu

    Answer by Emuu at 10:57 AM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • Breathe, Relax, and enjoy your child... Just one thing to think about - I know they're irritating, but at least you have them and they love your child.

    My mother in law passed away 2 months before our little guy was born. I would love to hear her fuss over him, but she can't. :(

    My own parents are 5 hours away so we're on our own.
    amw529

    Answer by amw529 at 11:00 AM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • My boyfriends mother acts just like this. My son is 10 1/2 months old. Yes he is my first but i feel that i do know how to take care of him. She insits on doing things for him and joking that my son likes her more than mommy. if she watches him she acts as if its no big deal and then later on she will say " you two alwasy think you can rely on me to watch him well you cant." Its hard becase i am only 18 and i live with my boyfriend at his parents house with our son. We both have jobs but my boyfriend has on year of school left so she refuses to let us move out. I cant take it. She always jokes that shes raising our son. If you find out what helps to get her off your back please let me know also! its hard i understand what your saying. I cant take much more of it.

    AidensMomma224

    Answer by AidensMomma224 at 1:45 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • I will let you know. It's so annoying. We lived with his parents while I was pregnant and I told my hubby we have to get out of here. So finally when I was 8 months we did but they still bug me. Everytime i pick him up I hear that he loves this and that and that he is doing this now or that and he has been doing it for weeks and it's not new. They act like I've never seen it even if I told them that he has been doing it for a few weeks they talk over me and explain it "he trys to hold his bottle now" I say, " Yeah he started that last week" MIL says, " nO but he does it harder now and .... blah blah. AHHHHHHHHHHHH. :)
    ktinaza

    Answer by ktinaza at 3:16 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

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