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How do you feel about setting limits on christmas spending?

I am asking because me and my partner have decided to spend 100.00 on one toy that his son will LOVE TO DEATH and I am sure we will get him some clothing and of course fill his stocking....hes 5... my DD will be 17 months old this christmas and not that I think my DD should get more then he will, but his sons mom always goes crazy on him for christmas.... I just dont want my DD to feel that in the future that he gets soooo much more because he gets from two parents who spend different money and she gets from two parents that spend money combined.... if that makes any sense....

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on Aug. 12, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • anon @ 1:44, that is so not true. My parents separated when I was 9 and it was something I saw on my own. My step sister always got two of everything, one from her mom and one from her dad. Her mom tried to compensate for years and still does for ther divorce. In the mean time, when I was 12 and living there, I needed a new jacket because it go as cold as minus 40 celcius without wind chill factor, I was told to go to the womans shelter and get a free one.

    Now to OP's question. I think if you feel that you should get DD a few extra presents go for it. I don't know your christmas morning arrangments, but if he is going to be there, he will notice it. So maybe hold off on giving them to her. I am sure he is going to get from grandparents and aunts and uncles as well. Either way they will both make out well.

    Oh and by the way PP, it is about family, but it is also about the parents getting that warm feeling inside seeing
    LuvsDanika

    Answer by LuvsDanika at 1:50 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • Children should be taught that Christmas and birthdays are NOT all about the gifts and they need to learn at a young age to be thankful for what they receive. Whether it's a matchbox car or a Wii. The only reason she will focus on how many gifts the other child receives when she gets older is if YOU teach her to notice that.
    And...to answer the original question, I agree 1,000% with setting spending limits. The true meaning of family and togetherness has been lost on people going out and spending insane amounts of money on crap that is unnecessary and unneeded.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:44 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • the joy on their little ones faces
    LuvsDanika

    Answer by LuvsDanika at 1:51 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • We do (for Xmas and birthdays) 1 big gift and several smaller gifts. If moneys good sometimes we do 2 bigger gifts though I am a discount queen and I usually find great deals
    dharmas_mommy

    Answer by dharmas_mommy at 1:51 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • yes, we spend $150.00 on each kid; one from his from a previous marrage and our two. Yours is so small she will not know or care how much you spend on her. But I do though give you credit for thinking about this because kids do and will pick up on how much you spend/give everyone.
    Tdaycare6678

    Answer by Tdaycare6678 at 1:59 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • hmm...think about it, at 17 months they might not remember this christmas too much in the future. I sure do not remember things from 17 months old. a 5 yr old will remember the christmas.
    1 big gift and a couple of smaller gifts is a good idea. stocking stuffers always make it feel like you got a lot more. This christmas my son will be 14 months and I will not go crazy on him. I'll let my parents get him stuff and I will get a few items but my son gets bored with his toys after a while b/c he's still growing and learning. I think as they get older past 5yrs, christmas gets more exciting, thats when you can make sure they get equal amounts. My hubby and I are setting limits for each others gifts b/c we don't have that much cash this year.
    mommylovesu28

    Answer by mommylovesu28 at 2:45 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • We have always set limits on holiday spending. Sometimes we don't even do a gift, but instead do something special together as a family. The focus is never on the holiday, but rather the religious significance of it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:51 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • In our house my husband spent the same amount on his son as he did on our son. Granted at the time he was living with us but even after he moved out the amount was the same. I know my son wouldn't have a problem with his big brother getting more gifts because he understand his big brother needed and wanted different things. I think it is going to be how your daughter is raised on how she sees things. We used to spend 100.00. Now that my stepson is gone my husband tends to go overboard. He is trying to make up for missing so much of his 1st son.
    robinsi2000

    Answer by robinsi2000 at 3:25 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • She's still young it honestly isn't going to matter. And the only time this might become a problem is when she is a teen, unless it is rubbed in her face and pointed out to her. Kids accept what is the norm, so if she is rasied understanding that he has two families the "extra's" won't really be a big deal.
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 3:51 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • We have one child and are still married so we don't have that drama to deal with. My sisters had different moms and got two Christmas'. Our bio dad was not in our lives so our adopted dad had a special Christmas for us after our sisters left. We got a few more gifts. He was very good about making things as fair as possible. We didn't care about the gifts we did love he did all he could to make sure we knew we were as special to him as his biological sisters. Our sisters still got a lot more but we didn't care. I always felt bad for them since both had moms that really were not that nice. They would spend money on them but give them no time. We had our dad full time and a loving mom so we knew we were very blessed.

    We spend whatever we want on our son. With only one child is less expensive so we can go all out for him. He loves Christmas. He loves to decorate and being in the church pageant. He loves Jesus bday.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:02 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

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