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Anybody out there have a Jekyll and Hyde Husband, S.O now that the baby has arrived?

I had a very high rish pregnancy and my DH was a prince throughout the entire 9 months. Now that she is here and 3 months old his behavior has completely changed- grumpy, irratable, short tempered and generally unhelpful. And I am the one that gets up at night to feed the baby!

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:21 PM on Aug. 12, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (7)
  • i bet out of every 10 fathers in the U S that 9 fathers are like your husband and my husband - real sobs.

    hindsight of nearly thirty years says tell him very firmly now that every day you will need his help multiple times. Or he will have a sick wife and baby to take care of more than he does now. Say it firmly every day without anger. Don't expect him to remember. But remind him without anger.

    Tell him in the morning firmly but nicely that you'll need his help when he gets home and through the night. Repeat it firmly but nicely when he gets home. The witching hour for kids is supper time so you needing help when he walks is allowed. But don't demand that cause who wants baby or kids all over nicer clothes.

    Be firm with your sentences but don't cry don't get angry. Men don't listen to that, doesn't matter that they should.

    I let my husband's ego unwind through infancy with each and into early childhood. Bad idea.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:31 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • So I guess that means I should tell him that I would appreciate it if he did NOT go to the neighbor's house after work to drink "shots"? LOL

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:35 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • Strange. Have you asked him what his problem was? Let him tell you why he's being cranky. When my hubby gets grumpy, i make him tell me whats wrong. we just talk it out. it is usualy work related. My hubby is a good daddy and it makes me really happy. I dont think the majority of dads out there are sobs. Thats just my opinion.

    Answer by mommylovesu28 at 2:35 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • My hubby is more than willing to help with the baby when other people are there so they can see him taking care of the baby. When it's just the two of us, he doesn't seem so interested in taking care of the little tyke. He would rather play video games...

    Answer by rpggurleli at 3:06 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • damn sounds like you need to go on strike big time make him do all if he wants too act that why just sit on your butt for once my fiance takes care of his daughter all the time when he is at home and does the same with my oldest who is not his but too him she is and he does same with her i would not let some man just sit on his ass he should have thought about all that before having kids and his games would fly out the window pretty fast and so would the shot glasses

    Answer by greeniemommy at 3:11 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • You guys ARE cheering me up ! Ummm yeah when there are people around he is all about being Oh-So- Attentive to our needs - See! Watch me change a Diaper! See! I am feeding my Baby! But yeah when it is just us at home he is at the neighbors or making sure that he is out "working in the yard" especailly durign the "Witching Hour" which for us is between 7 -9 pm. Yeah, I don't know what the prob is and he will not say - Trust me I have asked. Maybe this is just not what he envisoned it being. Oh and let me add that we are NOT spring CHickens - he is 40! and I am 43 so this is not some teenage angst...Mid-life maybe?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:43 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • My DH was the exact same way. It took about 8 months with my older DD before he even thought about being a helpful, active parent. and then he did a pretty decent job. I thought when my second DD came along that he had it down and would continue to help, but I was SOOO WRONG!

    I would get up all night, stay up all night, and he would complain all day about how tired he was. I don't think that he understood that as a mom, I was working 24/7 with no time off. and although he worked hard, at the very least he got to be off at night.

    Eventually my girls got old enough to intereact with him and play and he finally started to step up and be more of the father that I know he can be.

    Hang in there. I'm sure it will get better, even if it takes a few more months.

    Answer by SnuggyBaby at 3:45 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

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