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Has anyone decided to just not have anymore kids after their first? How did you handle the family/friends comments "you'll change your mind?"

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finallyamom40

Asked by finallyamom40 at 2:27 PM on Aug. 12, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 3 (24 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • i haven't personally but i know alot of people who did and did change their minds. maybe that is why people tell you that, as for them saying that just shrug it off and say well i guess we'll have to wait and see. and leave it at that, its just part of the whole parent thing, everyone wants to tell you how to raise your kids, how many to have, how to have them, how to name them....
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 2:29 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • I've actually contemplated the idea of having just our one child....but I find myself wanting another...and I'm almost 100% sure we'll have more...but I totally can understand the idea of wanting just the one...and I can just imagine the comments I'd get from everybody in our families....

    Just hang in here and shrug the comments off. It's your life and their your children, and people should just realize we don't need help in making decisions about our kids!
    carliemarie1015

    Answer by carliemarie1015 at 2:36 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • ME ME!! I only want 1!! i think I birthed the hardest child EVER! HE had horrible colic for 5 straight months 14 hours a day of uncalmable crying, then had pooping issues which made him more fussy even once the colic stopped, milk dairy allergies, won't cuddle or get comfort from anyone ( although still sweet and will run and give us hugs and kisses on HIS Time ) but that still makes it hard when he's sick or tired. He HATES to sleep and at 21 months and still crys himself to sleep every night, wakes up in the AM and after naps pissy as all get out. and I love him STILL - yet he saves his "best" whines and crying all special just for ME! So nope, I love him with ALL my heart and more but I am too tired and don't want to do this more than once. As for all the comments - I say " I don't want to share my love with anyone else, I Am stopping at perfection"
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 2:49 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • We only have one. He was not an easy baby. The first year was very tough he also had colic, he had surgery for a cleft lip and palate, and reflux. we were not eager to have another one. A few years ago his big brother died and the idea was tossed around about another one. However, we have been unsuccessful and now that we are both older I am 42 my husband is 48 we are just as well. The risk of another cleft and other complications are to great.
    robinsi2000

    Answer by robinsi2000 at 3:16 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • We only have one. Never considered having anymore. My son was a very easy baby and we love him so much. We get the remarks we will regret our choice and we will change our minds. We haven't and my husband had a vasectomy last year. My son is 7 years old and we feel our family is perfect. We really drive people nuts because we live in such a large home. We have 4500 sqft of finished space with 6 bedrooms and 6 1/2 bathrooms. We bought the house 10 years ago when we did think we would want more kids. We decided to keep the house since it is paid off. My son has a playroom and bedroom. My husband and I each have and office and we have one guest room.

    I guess next time someone tells me maybe I will change my mind or have regrets I will turn it around on them and tell them they will regret having a litter.lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:39 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • I don't think I want another child. I can't imagine having to share the love I have for Victoria with another child. I also can't imagine going through 7-8 months of sleepless nights. I dunno.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:04 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • Mine is 13 yrs old and I get the opposite. I get asked, "Why would you want another child now? In 5 years he will be an adult. Do you really want to start all over again?" Yes, I actually do. I love kids and would love to have another one, but at 38 yrs old, I don't see it happening anyway.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 4:54 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • We had planned on none, would up with one. When anyone asks us about having another, we have various responses, such as "Thank you for your permission to have another child" and "to tell you the truth, we have no idea how we would up with this one, can you please explain how to make another?"
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:48 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • You say "ya ok, whatever"..
    I don't think it's really much of an issue..
    Mad_Hexer

    Answer by Mad_Hexer at 6:15 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • Mine decision is the opposite. I have one child now. Easy, loving baby boy. And my DH is undecided about having kids. He wants to one week then the next he says he doesn't want any. So I told him that we won't have anymore. I would like another but it's not my choice to have one or not.
    jilli84

    Answer by jilli84 at 6:18 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

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