Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

New next door neighbor orders my kids around and disciplines them without consulting me. I'm uncomfortable. What should I do?

We live in an apartment complex. We just got a new neighbor. She's nice. She's five months pregnant. She says she has a certificate of some sort to be a nanny. Ever se she's moved in, she comes over every day to use our computer. Her husband is over seas and she doesn't have the internet at her house. Anyway, recently, she's started telling my kids what to do. Like, she told My oldest boy not to hit people with swords. I agree with that. But then she told him she would take his sword away for a week if he hit someone with it again. Then she did. Now my two year old wants to play with his sword, but he can't, because our neighbor took all of the swords away to punish my five year old son. She never asked me if that was how I wanted my kids to be discplined. She just did it. She's also put my kids in time out with out my permission. I'm a very passive person and don't like confrontation. What can I do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:08 PM on Aug. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (21)
  • OMG, go get ur sons sword now! Tell her she is not welcome to ur home and internet again unless she stops telling ur children how to act or behave. She is not their mother no matter what type of certification she has.

    Answer by kirsty_mcgrail at 4:10 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • seriously? go demand your kids toys back, tell her you like her, however they are your children and unless you are not home and she is the one babysitting them than you will make a decision on discipline.
    but if it were me, it would not be pretty, basically a stranger has told your child what to do and taken his toys from him and from your home. thats b.s.

    Answer by vabchmommy at 4:11 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • You need to talk to her and let her know that she is to not discipline your kids w/o your consent and you would like to get the swords back. No one should tell your kids what to do unless you have been consulted first. When my friends drop their kids off I always ask what discipline techniques they want me to use while they are in my care. I wish you luck.

    Answer by coala at 4:11 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • I would go and ask for your swords back. They are your property and the discipline comes from you. Not her. She can tell them to stop hitting each other, but she can't enforce stuff without consulting you.

    Answer by danichaos at 4:11 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • I understand if you are passive but these are your children you cannot be passive when it comes to your children you have to protect them.

    Answer by kirsty_mcgrail at 4:11 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • I would get the swords back and give them to your kids. Punish her for steppin over her bounderies. She should know better and she should get her own dang computer too. UGH neighbors.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • you need to learn to stand up for your kids NOW!! she can see you are a puch over. I would just tell her to not do that they are YOUR kids and YOU will be the one to disipline them. I do not care what sort of cert. she has. I would also ask for the swords back today. If she continues to boss your kids around in your home stop letting her in.
    It would be one thing if she was the nanny in your home or was watching your kids for you but to just be a visitor in your home??? and just a neighbor.....Nope put your foot down now

    Answer by justgrape723 at 4:12 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • Why are you ALLOWING this woman to parent YOUR kids? There is a difference between being uncomfortable and being walked on. She is walking all over you, in your home and you're not confronting her????WTF?!

    Go get your kids toys, tell her she isn't allowed over bumming your internet anymore and stop conversing with her. Just because she took a class to be a nanny does not make her a mother. Grow some balls and put her in her place.

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 4:13 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • Being a mom and being passive is not possible. Advocate for your kids or take parenting classes to learn how to.

    What happened in your life that you're afraid to stand up for your children?

    Maybe some personal counselling to gain selfconfidence and build your parenting skills.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:15 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • why would you let little kids have swords and worse you are not there to supervise them. You should be grateful she's there and watching out for the safety of your children since you obviously aren't watching them. Maybe she can teach you something.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:18 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.