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Annoyed with dh. House is too small, am I being selfish?

Four of us live in 800 sq. feet and share one bath. I've been here six years. I share a closet with my sons and the vacuum. Toys are everywhere because their bedroom is waaay too small to play in. Kitchen is galley and I can't have company over comfortably because there's no place to put them or feed them. I tried to tell dh we need more space and he freaked on me. I feel I've paid my dues in the tiny house. I'm willing to move farther out to get more space but he doesn't want to commute. With the kids getting bigger every day, I don't know what to do. I'm furious with dh for his lack of understanding and making me feel like a selfish bitch. I think it's a legit complaint, do you?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:06 PM on Aug. 12, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • So because there are homeless people and single PARENTS (not just moms are single parents) out there who work their butts off for a place to stay means that her feelings and her claustrophobia is not important? Yes, she should be thankful for what she has and I sure she is but I honestly don't think I could do it. We have six people living in a 1500 square foot house and I feel like going nuts sometimes because everywhere you turn you run into somebody. Sharing a closet with your kids and vacuum is a pain.
    No matter what problems you have somebody will always be able to top yours but that doesn't make your problems less important.
    kc932

    Answer by kc932 at 9:43 AM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • Where do you live? i have a huge house in florida for 875.00 a month. Momma's need space1
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:08 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • I dont think ur being selfish. Maybe u should add up the price of all ur monthly bills, see what u can afford in terms of a bigger place, look at some stuff online in that price range that meet ur qualifications, & then present it all to ur DH. Maybe if u do all the work he'll be willing to go look at a place & think about moving. Wouldnt hurt to try but I dont think ur being selfish, we all need some space to breath.
    Mel30248

    Answer by Mel30248 at 7:12 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • I'm in Seattle, bigger city, tiny homes. Big homes run 600K or more.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:12 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • IS that all you can afford? Would moving somewhere bigger cause his commute to alot longer? If so then you have to stick it out. Are you a SAHM? Its not fair to add more stress to him ($ worries and having a long commute, etc) just because you 'want it'. If you want it you may have to start working to pay for it.
    I would go crazy having so many people in a small space, I had the 4 of us in 1000sq a while back HELL I know! You cant move, even arranging things is hell. But I just kept looking and finally found something that was alot bigger for not much more, and was actually closer to his work. Just talk to him nicely about it, dont be demading or bitchy. Just voice your concerns, and how you would like to t=be able to keep a nice, home for him, and how much more rent/mortgage he thinks you can financially handle at this time and take it from there. GL
    Mesha125

    Answer by Mesha125 at 7:13 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • Why don't you get a part time job so you can afford a bigger place in your area?

    Or find another family in your situation to share a really big house.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:13 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • seattle huh? yeah thats expensive. My DH job almost moved us there (were in the bay area, ca now.) isnt there a few cities not that far from seattle? we were looking in those areas. As long as its not over like an our commute then theres no harm in asking :)
    Mesha125

    Answer by Mesha125 at 7:15 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • *hour not our, sorry!* lol
    Mesha125

    Answer by Mesha125 at 7:15 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • I agree with much of the above. I've pretty much always been a stay at home mom. We moved out further to afford a home of our own. The commute was horrible, my husband was never home, and I was pretty much a single mom he was gone so much. He felt like he was missing out on his children's entire childhood for a house. We eventually moved back down to Los Angeles where he worked, and lived in an 900 square foot house with 5 of us....it was difficult not having the space, but it was worth it to have him home. He was able to coach little league again, attend open houses at the school, and not fall asleep before he finished his dinner. His health was worth it, his safety on the road.....and for me not being a "single" mom anymore. We still don't have a big house...we live in 1400 square feet with 4 of us still living here, but I wouldn't ever want him to commute again!!!
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 7:19 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • We live in 700 and half of that is unfinished basement and there's 3 of us...we both feel we need a bigger home but it can wait.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:25 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

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