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SAHM- $$$ question?

my SO has been referring to our income as "his money". now, no doubt, he is the bread winner, but i take care of our home and child. last night i called him on it. basically just told him to shut up because i never frivalously spend...and unless he wants to come home one day with no toilet paper to wipe his ass, he needs to stop complaining. does anyone else find themselves in this same type of situation?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:18 PM on Aug. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • yes only i DO frivoulously spend! :[
    pookipoo

    Answer by pookipoo at 7:20 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • No Cause he knows better to be bitching to me cause I will stop and no do a thing and he will not like it. He knows I will to.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 7:25 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • When I was a SAHM, we had a few issues. That's why I now have a job. Things are all better now. :)
    Lexylex

    Answer by Lexylex at 7:28 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • My husband never treats me like it's "his" money, and I've been a stay at home mom most of the 21 years we've been married. In fact, each of our two oldest son's at different times made comments about the money being "Dad's money, because you don't work", and my husband let them have it. He told them that he couldn't afford to pay me what I'm worth, that my job is ten times harder than his, I have to work when I'm sick, I have to put up with thankless guys (we have 3 sons), and that they were all lucky I stuck around. He has even said things to his friend's when a couple of them have made remarks about them not putting up with a woman who didn't work and pay her own way.

    So luckily, no I've never had that particular problem, and I'm very thankful that my husband doesn't feel that way........
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 7:37 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • No. My husband yells at me all the time to stop asking permission to buy things. We've been living like this for 9 years and I still ask if I can buy things.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:40 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • No, my dh and I sit down ONCE a week and discuss money. I am accountible to him and he is accountible to me. I have occasionally not been a good steward but as time goes on, I get more accountible. Hes not that hard on me though. He likes to have shaving cream, toilet paper, razors, and shampoo and he doesnt want to have to know where it comes from....LOL...Good for you for standing up for yourself!
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 7:47 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • No,because I tried my best to be a SAHM, I couldn't do it not because of my DH,i felt like a child everytime I needed pads,toiletries, anything I had to get the money from my DH, yes, I was in charge of the banking and writing checks,I realized I could work,clean my home,cook everyday, go to school meetings,while working. My DH understood, he still pays all bills, I pay for anything I want. I guess in the end of the day, it's what work for you in your home, I was just a very unhappy SAHM, I love my life now, my kids hasn't missed a thing ,if anything, they have gain more,we have double insurance, more money in savings for kids,another home,better vacations,so working works for me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:36 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • a house is only as small as you make it..
    I lived in a really small apt housing, with my two children. and I manged. don' t store stuff you don't need, toss things out, declutter!!!!

    we now live in a 1800 sq feet home, 6 big room, two baths. and I would rather live in a small house. More reasons to throw shit out. and besides I am always losing my kids in here.. (now a family of 5).
    Remember there are ways to live comfortable in a small house. don't make your husband struggle to pay for it. ..or like mentioned if you want to upgrade you can always get a job, or maybe build onto your house??
    best luck.. ~
    r00j04j08

    Answer by r00j04j08 at 9:02 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • No. If I goof up and use the wrong account and get an overdraft or put us at a potential for an overdraft (thank you to Regions for online account to account money transfers!!!) I feel bad and feel like it's HIS money. If I want to go out and buy something for myself he has no problems. When I first started staying home I called it his money and he would get mad at me. Even when we were separated and he opened a new account he still had my name put on it. He said no matter what he would always take care of the kids and me. I always kind of wondered how long that would have lasted but we reconciled a few months later.
    kc932

    Answer by kc932 at 9:36 AM on Aug. 13, 2009

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