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Is it wrong to have an opposite sex friend that isn't friends with my husband?

He's straight, has a family of his own. But we're close friends. I feel uncomfortable hanging out at this point like its WRONG.. but we don't do anything wrong. Ugh. I feel like if we go out to lunch or meet up somewhere, like I'm going to run into someone I know, friend or family, and they're going to look at it like I'm having smoe steamy affair. Sigh.


Asked by Anonymous at 7:35 PM on Aug. 12, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I totally get what youre saying. I have a friend like that too. He is my husbands friend and him and I are so much alike and we really communicate well. Hes a good listener, and our personalities are very similar, BUT BUT BUT....I know in my heart that any time spent together should always be around other people and not alone. Its simply not appropriate. He is a music minister and I also work in our church as well and I, as a christian, have been called to be above reproach and set an example. I am to give no one a reason to accuse me and make sure I have accountibility at all times. I know that we would never do anything inappropriate and neither would he, but, we just make sure that we arent ever alone so that no one gets the wrong idea, but we love to goof around and pick at one another and hug when we see each other and when we leave. I think you should just be very careful and just make sure your husband is around. JMO

    Answer by momofsaee at 7:39 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • I don't know if it's wrong, but I think it's very difficult to do. I'm not sure that I'd be comfortable with my husband having a female friend that he spent time with separate from me. No matter how innocent it is, there would always be just a little question about it, but if you and your husband are comfortable with it, then I suppose it's no one else's business

    Answer by ohwrite at 7:40 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • Let me add that NO, I dont think its wrong, of course, but your heart is telling you that you might need to just watch and be careful. Thats all. Youve done nothing wrong, so I wanted to make sure that you understood I wasnt saying you did anything wrong. Just to clarify.

    Answer by momofsaee at 7:42 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • I have a lot of male friends. My husband is friends with only a couple of them. Some of them are even my ex's.

    No problems here at all.

    Answer by Laura1229 at 7:42 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • I think if you get along so well you need to introduce him to your hubby and when you spend time together you guys should be with your families as well. I have male friends but they are my hubbys friends too. What friends I had before him or without him he has made too. I feel like it is innapropriate to hang out with another man without your hubby. JMO Though if you and hubby are comfortable with it tho go for it.

    Answer by heather.darin at 7:49 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • Its hard to have a male friend... so easily it can turn to something more. My husband and I both had this problem in the past and we ended up agreeing on no opposite sex friends. i think its something you need to talk over with your partner.

    Answer by nessa4555 at 8:17 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • imo i think if you feel there is something wrong with it chances are you're right, i think we all have those inner feelings weather it be that we know a certain friend wants to be more then friends even if it could never happen and it would never be acted upon or if you find the friend attractive or whatever again even if it were never to be acted upon... however i think that you feel its wrong because one of these situtions apply and you know if hubby were in the same sitution you wouldnt want him hanging out with the female... trust your gut if it feels wrong dont do it is it worth risking your marriage over

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 8:17 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • I see nothing wrong with it as long as both spouses know and say they are ok with it

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:22 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • as long as you just didnt meet this guy and he has been your friend before you met your husband i think its ok. I have a guy friend that ive know since 6th grade. I would never feel uncomfortable going out to lunch with him because ive known him forever and would feel comfortable enough to go out in public with him because he is just a firend. My husband knows him and has met him. My husband knows about our relatuionship and what we talk about because i tell him. So as long as you are hinest about they relationship you should have to worry about it. AS LONG AS HE IS JUST A FRIEND.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:48 PM on Aug. 12, 2009