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I just got an email from my first boyfriend

We met in Florida on spring break. My grandparents would winter in Ft. Myers and I would go to visit them for spring break every year. His family went to the same resort every year.

We met when we were only 14. We were staying right on the beach and had little supervision. We would go for long walks and swim and had a blast. We wrote each other and had relationships with other people but we would alway spend spring break together until he got married. His marriage was brief and the last time I saw him I was 21.

Now we are both 53, single, and have 3 adult children. He lives in Texas and I live in Arizona so it's possible we could get together.

I have several problems. The first one is common. I'm overweight. It's a surprise to people from my past because I used to weigh less than 100 pounds. I look good for being overweight and dress well. I look 10-20 years younger than I am. I wish that made up for it.

Answer Question

Asked by GailllAZ at 8:52 PM on Aug. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • The second problem goes along with the first. I have a very rare genetic immune deficiency disease that is life-threatening. I have to have IVs every 3 weeks to help protect me from infections. The IV medication makes you gain about 5-10 pounds a year. I've been getting it 21 years. That means I could have gained 210 pounds and weigh 310. I weigh about 185.

    I can't work and I get SSI. People feel bad because I was a professional before I became ill and everyone thought I would be very successfull. I raised 3 children as a single mother. I homeschooled them and got 2 master's degrees in the process. I see myself as successfull, others see me as poor and disabled.

    I have problems with my feet and have to use a wheelchair sometimes.

    I haven't dated in 21 years. I'm fun to be with and would be a great girlfriend. Should I just give up because I'm not perfect? I look good for my age, very good.


    Answer by GailllAZ at 9:04 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • girl this sounds so romantic i think u should go for it!!! at 53 do you really think he contacted u because of how u looked when u were 21? no i have a feeling it has more to do with who u are and his feelings for you as a person not as a "body"

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 9:09 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • he fell in love with your spirit not your shell. I went back to my high school reunion after I swore I wouldn't since I gained 100 lbs since high school. My friends talked me in to going anyway so I flew back and it was amazing. If anyone had a problem with my weight they didn't say a word. Guys still flirted and I even had a fling!!!! They even voted this old fat lady "prom" queen! My point is that give the man the benefit of the doubt. If it bothers you this much then tell him and let him make his own mind up. He's waited this long to reconnect with you and for the time to be right. You'd probably never forgive yourself if you passed up this opportunity for love and it was right...but your fear kept you from having it. Take a chance my cyber friend!

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:18 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • you'll never know unless you go for it! You dont wanna live with regret!

    Answer by Mesha125 at 9:23 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • No one is perfect, and friends are so much more important than dates. Be his friend, and take things from there.

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:44 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • go for it. be honest with himwhen you talk to him

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:52 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • Go for it!!!! What do you have to lose? All relationships involve the risk of the unknown at the beginning, even for skinny, perfectly healthy, young chicks. This sounds too romantic to pass up.


    Answer by Jonsmommy408 at 11:26 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • what happened "HONEY" couldnt find the answer on google, isnt it all empowering?

    ...ohh thats right...... this is a web-site for only fat disabled unemployed whiners with pathic daydream questions of someone from their past that probably doesnt know the real truth....

    Or is it that your so self centered and self absorbed that you cant even offer a kind word to a fellow Cafemom poster with out being hateful and degrading.

    You want support but you are not willing to support...Let me enlighten you...THATS THE KIND OF WEB-SITE THIS IS...'SUPPORTIVE' NOT CONDESCENDING...doesnt feel very good does it...?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • Thanks everyone. I have more confidence now.

    Answer by GailllAZ at 12:12 AM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • Oh hon, I don't think any of those things you listed as concerns will matter to him. When you love someone you see the young kid in their eyes. This sounds so romantic you have to met up with him. For all of us die hard romantics!! Do it for your fellow moms!

    Seriously don't worry about what you look like or any of your health don' t know what he looks like now..he may look like a bald old man! lol

    I think that both of you will see that teenager in each other's eyes.

    Go For It!!!!

    Answer by robinann5 at 1:10 AM on Aug. 13, 2009

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