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IS it that hard ?

I hear moms complaining all the time, I can't even take a shower, I need help, I don't know what to do. Women in the past had 6-10 children and never complained. I would like to know,please tell me, when you were planning for a family,or when you said you wanted kids,what did you think motherhood was. I guess I just love my children so much,I get so excited over everything,and I've been a mom for a looooooog time.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:58 PM on Aug. 12, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (34)
  • Women these days are a lot more high maintenance and spoiled than they were in the past. It is definitely hard being a parent, but that's to be expected. I'm sure it also depends on how many children you have and how you've raised them to behave. I'm seen households with 2 children that were completely chaotic and I've seen households with 7 children that were completely under control.

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 11:33 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • i dont find it that hard, i clean the house or shower when he is sleeping, my husband works 10 hrs a day so i do it pretty much by myself, i enjoy being with my son, they grow too fast you have to cherish every moment

    Answer by ilovenoah26 at 10:01 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • I could be wrong, but I guess I think the mom's in the past and in other countries who have 6+ children lived in close communities where they were/are in constant contact with other women and weren't as isolated as we are now. They also didn't shower as much. :)
    Just because someone is frustrated or overwhelmed by parts of parenting doesn't mean they don't enjoy it and don't love their children.

    Answer by mybella81 at 10:03 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • I am a ftm and married(im pregnant with my first right now) and I'll admit, its easier when you watch some 1 else doing it. I haven't even had mine yet, and I feel over whelmed. I have a high risk pregnancy plus Im RH neg. and when I use to see my sil pregnant she made it look like it was so fun and blah blah...but I think its just how the mother looks at it.
    Either in a positive way or a negative way

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:04 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • Oh Honey, I hear ya. My daughter is saying the same things, after two. I just laugh. I had two too, I've been there, I know exactly how hard it is. But ya know what, we all survived. I tell her... use a baby gate, use a playpen. It's how we used to get things done.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:08 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • By the way I love my children "soooo much" and get excited about every little thing too. But at the same time I'm overwhelmed by the constant whining, crying, terrible sleeping habits, fighting, clinginess, extreme messes, inablility to get a shower without my daughter screaming her little head of the entire time, etc. I don't know how to discipline well and I know that is a large part of my problem. It doesn't mean I love my children any less or don't enjoy them. But if I was't isolated and completely alone all the time (which I think is terribly unnatural) my life would be a lot different and a lot easier as far as raising children.
    It's hard to say what I thought motherhood was like, I would say I glorified it, thought it would be easy. I had no clue. It's NOT AT ALL what I expected.

    Answer by mybella81 at 10:08 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • I mean alone most of the time, not all of the time.

    Answer by mybella81 at 10:09 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • it seems to me that most of the moms on CafeMom had unplanned pregnancies, and had no idea of what raising a child means.

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:12 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • You are hearing the adjustment period. Do you think we don't love our kids, or are not giving our all. Everyone handles the changes that motherhood brings differently and this is a safe place to vent, so we do. And women who had 6-10 kids hand at least 5 little helpers in the house and probably had family near by and neighbors that they trust and helped. It used to be that the entire neighborhood helped to raise all the families. Now people may never see let alone talk to their neighbors or have family near. I am in the military and for the first time in 6 years have family with in a few hours. And a few of my neighbors have stayed long enough to get to know them enough to ask them for help in an emergency. This is a different world then it was when women were having 6-10 kids. Mothers today are more on their own. So assist and offer your advice, don't criticize. It doesn't help.

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 10:13 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • Do you think that moms of the past never got overwhelmed? Maybe June Cleaver didn't- but she was the only one! I think its pretty universal to need personal time at least for a little bit . . . my grandmother had 22 kids (18 lived to adulthood) and I know she would have the older kids watch the younger ones while she worked in her garden sometimes bc she enjoyed the small time by herself! You have to keep something for yourself, otherwise you will go crazy when the kids leave the house and you are still left behind....

    Answer by Emuu at 10:14 PM on Aug. 12, 2009