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Am I the only mom who struggles with husband that has little respect for "stay at home"mom's?

My husband has always been a wonderful provider for the family,but we always get into an argument that staying at home with the kids full time,is not a job. It is hard to defend,myself,because I don't bring in any kind of money. When we have this kind of discussion,it makes me feel guilty and very insecure. Just some incite would be nice...thanks,again!

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:20 PM on Aug. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • You tell him you will go get 2 jobs if you have to so you can support the family. He can stay at home with the kids but he has to cook and clean too. I bet that wont last a day.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:23 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • Try this for a week, get a notebook, and every single day write down every single thing you do. Washed dishes, changed diaper, mopped floor, ran vacum, etc.....everything you do. At the end of the week, sit down with your dh and show him your notebook.......maybe he'll get it. Maybe even put the time by it, so he sees that your day doesn't end at 5pm or whatever, it's not an 8 hour a day job then you sit around the rest of the time. GL

    Answer by robinann5 at 11:38 PM on Aug. 12, 2009

  • My hubby used to think that (never said it till he had changed his mind) He works in refineries and had 6 weeks between jobs once. In that time I took a week vacation and did absolutely nothing no diapers or anything... He also got one week of doing nothing. THis excersise was to show him exactly what I did all week when he was working:) It worked now he claims that his job is wayy easier than mine( I used to make a good living and offered to let him stay home while I worked). He now has a new respect for stay at home moms and even helps alot when he gets home:)

    Answer by heather.darin at 12:00 AM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • Its not an 8 hour a day job then you sit around the rest of the time

    Exactly. When mine gets home from work guess who is still "working"? I feed her dinner, give her a bath, read, clean up kitchen, and put her to bed.
    We get in the same arguments too, he was like "I worked all day!" I was like "ME TOO! Taking care of OUR daughter!" I hate when he tries to pull that crap. I just tell him to shove it and go about my business
    Try not doing anything, when he comes home and there is no dinner, or laundry done, or vacuuming, say "I don't work, remember?"

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:02 AM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • Why don't you start charging him for childcare, housecleaning, and cooking and see who makes more money then? Find out the normal prices charged for these jobs and if this were to really happen he'd probably owe you backpay! LOL

    Answer by AFMommy2356 at 1:04 AM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • tell him you're going to work for the week and HE has to stay home with the kids and take care of the house, kids, pets, etc....he'll change his mind REAL quick!

    Answer by calliesmommie at 1:43 AM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • Videotape yourself. After he watches the 16 hours worth of footage from just one day, he'll stop being that guy.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 10:16 AM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • It's not a job. It's a life choice. One that should be discussed and decided upon by both partners. I was a sahm for 15+ years. And if he made that choice with you then he needs to find a different choice of words to get his point across..

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 12:46 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • What do you do all day??
    A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and 20 wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

    The door of his wife's car was open, and so the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

    In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

    In the kitchen, dishes
    filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

    He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He

    Answer by J.P at 12:58 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

    He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.

    As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor.

    Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

    As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel.

    She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

    He looked at her bewildered and asked, 'What happened here today?'

    She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?'

    Yes,' was his incredulous reply.

    She answered, 'Well, today I didn't do

    Answer by J.P at 12:58 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

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