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HS Journals and My Husband

So my husband was emptying out some boxes from when we moved and he found a bunch of my journals and diaries. He started to read them and I said something about him not reading them because they were private. Well he told me a long time ago that he would never read them, but this time he was like "what does it matter if I read them we are married now and they were from HS?!" I got really upset because I tried to get one from him and he wouldn't let it go. So when he finally did he took them all and hid them somewhere. He says that he didn't hide them but they are no where to be found. Am I wrong for wanting to keep some things private like my thoughts and feelings? What should I do about getting them back? Should I force him to tell me where they are?

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Bamzakarat

Asked by Bamzakarat at 2:26 AM on Aug. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,054 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • No you're not wrong. Those are your thoughts and feelings to be your own. Just because you're married doesn't mean that EVERYTHING is fair game to the other person, especially your feelings from so long ago. I would tell him how you feel and demand them back.
    theutilitarian

    Answer by theutilitarian at 2:41 AM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • wow hes ridiculous
    pookipoo

    Answer by pookipoo at 2:43 AM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • That's really immature of him!
    You're not wrong, those journals are special to you and he has no right to do that!
    LilChynaDollie

    Answer by LilChynaDollie at 3:08 AM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • They're private, but I think he tried to make the point that he understands that it was from HS and he knows that it won't affect the way he feels about you. Maybe he wants to know what makes you tick, to know who you really are or were on the inside (that's not a bad thing) but that's something that should be invited to be shared, not for him to take them and hide, destroy, throw out or whatever he did with them.
    He should respect your feelings and give them back and if he ever does, you may want to put them in a locked briefcase or something (walmart has a nice metal one that's reasonably priced).
    He's violating your trust, your feelings and a few other things by doing this.
    Again, that's something that should be shared only if the person WANTS to share them.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 3:26 AM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • My husband would probably be the same way. I know that I was a completely different person when I was in HS and I wouldn't want my husband knowing that (not crazy, I was a bit depressed). Things are private, and your husband needs to understand that.
    crystac

    Answer by crystac at 9:11 AM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • There should be no secrets between a man and his wife. These were from high school when you were younger and more foolish. Whatever is in there, you should now be able to laugh about. There is absolutely no reason to be concerned. Whatever is in there was what made you into the woman that your husband loves, so why should you be ashamed for him to know what made you who you are? If you are worried that he will think less of you, I think that is unfounded.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:27 AM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • It's none of his business what's in there. He shouldn't be treating you that way. He should return them.
    lilbit022009

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 10:08 AM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • This was a very controlling act on his part. I'm not sure what I would do, but I'd be pretty upset that he took something that belonged to me, and hid it from me. How would he feel if you did this to him? I'd be concerned about his controlling nature.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:26 AM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • i think it would be almost impossible for him to not be curious about what's written- especially since ur so hellbent on them being private. he probably wants to know u better. u shouldn't worry about what's in them- he's supposed to be in your life forever. however, he was rude about it- that was wrong.
    ranedare

    Answer by ranedare at 10:29 AM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • You husband is an ass. I would not put up with it. If he is going to violate your privacy like that and is being mean about it I would wonder what he is hiding. Seems like he is looking for dirt so he can excuse his own bad behavior. I would let him know it is couch city until the journals are back in your hands. I personally would not let him back in the house.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:03 AM on Aug. 13, 2009

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