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My two year old is very jealous of his 9 month old baby brother. He shouts to frighten him and grabs any toys he has. I can see expressions of anger and dislike on his face when he looks at his brother. He has had a lot of love and attention so am not sure what else to do.

I got a very severe breast infection after the birth of the baby and had to go back to hospital with my baby - I was there for 7 days and my 2 year old was not brought to see me. Could he have abandonment issues?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:21 AM on Aug. 13, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (5)
  • They feel the need for you. I would try to give them attention at the same time.

    Answer by Ashlee0323 at 7:22 AM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • Were these toys your 9 month old plays with the same toys your 2 year old used to play with. It may be that your older son is at the age that if it was his toy to begin with even if he doesn't play with it, its still his( most call it the mine stage) My cousin went through that with her two boys, one is 2 almost 3 and the other is 1.5, they get along great now, but she lets them pick one toy each when they go to the store thats only theres that they don't have to share with brother. As your youger son gets older he'll learn to fight back or defend himself. its part of sibling rivalry. you can talk with your two year old and tell him its not nice, try putting him in time out.

    Answer by vgiron at 8:19 AM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • Try making him feel this is his baby too. Ask him to help with things like getting you a diaper. Talk to him about how much his baby brother loves him, and needs him. Ask him to "watch" the baby while you go into another room to do something, but make sure you can see them, without him knowing. Ask him to sing songs to the baby. Just make him feel involved and needed. Spend extra time with him as much as possible, tell him stories about being a big brother.

    Answer by robinann5 at 9:20 AM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • well I could be that he doesn't see him as a "baby" more as something taking his mom's attention. I would teach him "NICE" and even pat the baby - show him that he has to be nice. Sharing is hard with kids anyway but maybe get some Big boy toys for him that the baby can't have so when he trys to take his brothers toys, you can say Oh honey, you get BIG BOY toys now? good luck!

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 10:18 AM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • He probably feels angry. Mommy has baby, and because of baby mommy has to go away. So he probably blames his brother for you leaving and holds resentmint towards him. Just thinking on his level, and to us a week is a week, but to a child that young a week is like a life time. If that made sense.

    Answer by JustPlainOlMOM at 12:30 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

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