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Can I get advice on living with my inlaws please! My husband, my self and our three children have had to move in and I hate it, so does my husband. What can make it easier? How about sex time?

My husband was laid off in early December of 2008 and I resigned shortly before I became pregnant in May of 2008. He has been looking since he got laid off and I have been looking since I had the baby. He has a lead on a great job, we should hear today or tomorrow about it, and I am in medical and I can't believe I have not been picked up yet given my past education, experience, and activities, but all the same we have had to move in with my inlaws last week and there is some tension forming. We are very greatful, and I do not want to come across as anything less, but there are issues with cleanliness (I am a clean freak, they are very sloppy, cluttered and can even be just filthy at times). My mother in law has issues with saying no and sees most things as a major chore, so I make sure she does not have anything extra to do for my family, she seems unhappy with this as well, and my father in law is a know it all. What to do?

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Asked by zuverlassig2jl at 12:21 PM on Aug. 13, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • well im kinda in the same boat. tell them how you feel be fore you blow up at them. other then tat i cant really help seeing as im going through almost same situation only we only have 1 child and i am in school for teaching now. and my husbands parents aren't together his dad is the one we stay with and he is disgusting bachelor. good luck

    Answer by sami07 at 12:39 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • theres not much you'll be able to do, just try to keep to yourself, try to have pleasant conversations with them, try to keep your area, bath and kitchen clean, since thats where your child will be and have food prepared. older folks are set in their ways, you're not going to be able to change them. I really hope that you guys can get out of there soon. pray that your dh gets that job.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:41 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • I have been there but it was my sister and her husband. They do not have kids. I had 3 at the time and they were quit irritated with everything.They didn't know how to adjust to having kids around and I didn't know how to adjust to having my kids live with people who drink a case of beer a night and don't throw out the cans..adjusting to each other takes time.... It did help that I found things to do in the evening and on weekends. Bend over back wards to keep the peace and go for a walk to vent. Take it moment by moment and stay out of each other's way. It is just a bump in the road and this too shall pass.
    Good luck and don't be afraid to go into the bathroom turn on the fan, bury your face in a towel and cry or scream.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:31 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • i live with my inlaws and there just completly filthy. i clean constintly to have it some what clean for my baby, but they just wont help me at all. then they get mad if i say anything. im on the lease and pay rent too and they act like its their place

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:40 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • Unfortunately, it's their home, and they have a right to live how they want....even if it's disgusting. I'm sure they love all of you, or they wouldn't have let you move in, but it also changes their life in ways they didn't plan on at this stage of their life, and may even resent to some degree. It sounds like you are doing the best you can to deal with a rough situation, basically, there's not much you can do since it's their home. I agree try to get out of the house as much as possible, save every dime so you can move, and good luck hope your husband gets the job!!!

    Answer by ohwrite at 4:43 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

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