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is it normal for my son at 21 months not to listen?

he justtrned 21 moths and most times he doesnt listen--we tell him not to do something he will say no no and do it. he dumps everything on the floor and refuses to pick up,when he gets madhe will hit our cat or his 6 month old sister,he gets alot of attention so i know its not that-the doctor said its his age but they also said he would grow out of it but it feels like its getting worse. if you smack his bottom or hand he laughs and spits at us or will go right back to doing it again,im not sure what to do if anyone has any ideas i would appreciate it as heis my first child and i just dont know who to turn to

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Asked by jeffsgirl77 at 2:26 PM on Aug. 13, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (11)
  • yes unfortunately this stage may last longer in some kids than others. they're trying to figure out how far you can be pushed. i would say since the spanking didnt work you may try going back to a time out situation. i've learned a lot of little kids HATE when their toys are taken away (i worked in a daycare and even this young, they know). if he hits you take him and sit him somewhere he can throw things or hurt himself. i realize he's young, but he can sit for even 1 min. Firmly tell hi "no hitting" or whatever the situation is. since he's little when he calms down i'd let him get up. between 1 min or 2 is appropriate for his age, since he's so close to two. when he gets up simply state what he did was not ok. if he hit make him say sorry to the baby or whoever he hit. just keep it short, bc he wont understand too much explanation, or will get side tracked and not hear what you're saying lol. Good luck mama

    Answer by AmandaN1 at 2:30 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • Welcome to the terrible twos! My mil and fil promise that if you keep on em now they will be better in about 18 months. Also try calling your local help me grow to see if he has any developmental delays that maybe frustrating him. Good luck!

    Answer by CooksWife at 2:31 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol the fun has only begun

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 2:37 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • i know the doctor said hes not talking like he should be and this is the start of the terrible twos but he talks alot and says alot of words and most parents i have asked said their kids never did that so i wasnt sure if it was just him or maybe certain children-ive tried the time out thing and it doesnt work-ive tried taking toys off him-nothing-ive tried going to bed -nothing

    Answer by jeffsgirl77 at 2:42 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • I waited as my son's pediatrician suggested, my son started the same way you described. Now, almost a year later a picture is emerging, a frightening one.

    Have his ears evaluated by an audiologist. Also, insist on a screening for autism. First thing we noticed was that our son seemed to ignore us, there was very little eye contact as well and pediatrician kept telling us he will outgrow it. I don't know if what you are describing is behavioral or not, I hope so because that is an easier fix but I strongly suggest you to follow your gut instinct, if something feels off, it probably is. I have an excel sheet for milestones at different ages, broken down from 0-6, 6-12, etc. If you give me an e-mail address I'll share it with you, I don't know how to insert attachments of files from CM website or if you know how to do this and tell me I'll send you the sheet.

    Answer by bebita at 2:45 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • You have to pick one form of discipline and stick to it. Be consistant.

    When you take toys from you throw them away, give them back after a minute, take them for weeks at a time, etc. If you give them back shortly after you take them away, it will not be effective. If you give them to him because he is crying for them back, that is certainly not going to work. However, if you throw them away (you can always take them out of the trash when he isn't looking and put them in storage for the second child) then he will get that if he is bad, his toys are thrown away.

    Same with time out. You said it doesn't work. Do you force him to sit in the same spot with no TV, talking, toys or attention from you? Make him stay for two minutes...AFTER he has finally calmed down. If you are consistant, he will get that you aren't playing.

    Good luck! It is a stage, but how you handle it will determine how long the stage will last

    Answer by Glowing4Caleb at 2:48 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • i make him sit in a corner with nothing and ususallyhe will scream and kick and spit-he refuses to sit so my husband or i usually sit him back down and tell him he has to stay but that hardly ever works-when we take the toys off him i usually put them up where hecant find them then i usually forget about them till he finds them later on lol i was told to makehim sand in a corner and hold a shoe out?? i was told this makes him get tired and he will soon see how bad he is but i havent tried this because he loves to pick up any shoe he can find and throws them at his sister and when we yell he laughs-im just hoping this stage ends fast which im sure wont lol

    Answer by jeffsgirl77 at 2:57 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • my kid did so many things,just watch him and when he hits then send him to his room,mine is 3 and he thinks he can say no when we ask him to do something,so he goes to his room all the time.relax the only time i corrected him was when he hit others and he was not allowed to hit me or his daddy would spank his booty.

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 3:08 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • lol oh welcome to hell. I am going through this with my Daughter who is now 2 years old or 27 Months and started at 13 months right now the things that keep her from some destructive behaviors is distraction. Getting your tot to do some activities and or read with him. Or take him to a park and tire him out so he can take a nap. Try to find some activities and sometimes that alone can be hard if he is like my Daughter who is easily bored. Teach him and be consistant and tell him you hurt the cat and make him pet the cat softly and say you see be nice and ddo the same with his sibling. Also they love praise so when you praise him for doing good things it will make him want to do more good things. Good luck honey and update me on how it goes.



    Answer by raynesmommy1 at 4:01 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • Your son is not to young for responsiblety. Little things, see if the baby is asleep I think I heard her cry, or ask where the diaper bag is , like you missplaced it. That is how my daughter was when our first son come home. Let him know that the baby is HIS sister.

    Answer by ChildCare4618 at 5:10 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

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