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Are you dealing with sick/aging parents AND children at the same time?

I have two toddlers and a teen, and my dad has been in the hospital since the beginning of May. My mom is in good health, but she is exhausted and stressed and she needs our help with a lot of things. She's been staying with us all summer to be closer to the hospital, but she's gone home now to go back to work. I can check in on my dad on my lunch break, but the evenings are a bit harder because my toddlers can't go to the hospital and my husband works late a lot. He's working late so much because he is having to take care of my dad's business as well as his own business, so cutting back on work isn't really an option for him. I'm trying my best to make sure everyone gets what they need, but I'm not sure that is possible.

We're all tired, and I expect it's going to continue to be this way for a while. I know my family can't be the only one. Are you dealing with something like this? How do you keep it up?


Asked by Anonymous at 4:28 PM on Aug. 13, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Seriously I have no idea how to help you. My dad fell last yr and broke his knee in 2 places and he still can't walk very well. We had him in a nursing home for a while( my brother lives with him). My step daughter was getting a divorce and she is the lying bitch from hell so it was always something with her. Then I had crappy helpers at work and wasn't doing my job well. I literally thought that taking care of my dad bro wasn't home much, my family and dealing w/ sd I thought I was seriously going to have to commit myself. While my dad can now drive and do things for him I still like to go to the dr's w/him to hear what they have to say. I am finally starting to come back around after a yr now. My advice to you is only do what u can. If u can only go 2 times a wk to the hospital your family has to understand that. I feel bad cuz my dad likes to help take care of my dd so I think I should help take care of him GL

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 4:38 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • Thanks Moms Angels. Good luck with your family too!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:33 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • You must take care of yourself, too, even though there are a lot of other people depending on you. You may have to only check on your dad once a day, and just ask the nurses to call you if they see any major changes in him. If you have friends who would be willing to help you out from time to time, call on them. Most people love to help out in these situations, but they don't know what to do. So, ask some of them to stop by and spend a few minutes with your dad. Just remember that if you become too tired or stressed, there isn't anybody who can take up all your positions, so pace yourself.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:07 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • welcome to the sandwich generation my dear.......I helped take care of my mother who died of caner back in the 80's and my father lives on his own but I have to check up on him regulary....he had to stay with my husband and I a while back due to recoevery from chemo and radiation treatments, they left him very weak and thin.....Im a nurse so most of what i had to do was not too bad for me but it could be a strain on most marriages.....
    I trade off with my brother if his health starts to decline....that way neither one of us gets burned have to take care of yourself too.....

    Answer by michaux at 10:28 PM on Aug. 13, 2009