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How to tell my fiance I've been cutting...

I've recently been under a lot of stress, and as embarrassed as I am in retrospect, I reverted back to cutting. He hasn't noticed, because it's on my legs, and I've been changing in the bathroom (he hasn't followed me in, because I'm also on my period). However, I need to tell him for two reasons: number one, he'll notice eventually, and number two, I need to feel accountable. However, I'm afraid that he'll mock me or make fun of me... any suggestions on how to approach the situation? Please don't say anything snide such as "don't cut yourself in the first place"... I already know that. Too late now.


Asked by Anonymous at 6:33 PM on Aug. 13, 2009 in Health

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • As a former cutter... if he mocks you, he is not worth it to be with. I had a previous boyfriend who would just roll his eyes and say "Just stop"
    My DH is very supportive, and I have a feeling yours will be as well. You didn't do it for attention, if he knows your past history, he'll be a little less shocked.
    You want to be accountable - that's terrific. That's a hard thing to realize in a situation like that, at least, it was for me. :]
    Just ask him if he has a minute or two, and want to have a talk with him that's very important to you, and explain your emotions.. "I'm really nervous telling you, and kind of ashamed" or "I don't know how to say this to you, I'm really upset, and I'd really appreciate it if you'd just hear me out and not get upset."
    And just explain yourself - the best that you can. Say that you think you need a counselor or just someone to listen to your frustrations and whatnot before you cut yourself. GL

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 6:43 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • can you get therapy? i dont know what kind of person he is, do you think he would be understanding?

    Answer by pookipoo at 6:35 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • if he's the right one for u he wouldn't make fun of you... he would try to understand why u do it, and try to help u.
    I suggest talking to him, the longer u keep it from him, the worse it is for u

    Answer by Lovin_mybaby5 at 6:41 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • yeah i cut myself last week, it's a tough habit to quit. good luck letting him know, just walk around in shorts and say you need a hug.

    Answer by staciandababy at 6:44 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • If he mocks you, he is not the person for you. Just be honest and also let him know that you are willing to answer any questions that he may have. Good luck! I hope that your stress eases.

    Answer by balagan_imma at 7:47 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • that's the thing... i don't think that he'd make fun of me to be an ass... but he has a way of mocking people who cut because he is a former self-harmer himself. right now, i'm uninsured and can't afford private insurance, don't qualify for medicaid. i can't afford to see a counselor.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 PM on Aug. 13, 2009